It can be done both ways really depending on your setup, knowledge, intent on use and preferred methods. And how you are extracting is also crucial and good to know (ISO, BHO, CO2, etc.).
You can decarb prior to extraction if doing and ISO extract AND not cooking with it (not applying heat) i.e. tinctures or no bake applications and treats, candies, chocolates, gummies etc.
You can decarb after extraction if by chance you are extracting using BHO or CO2 and keeping some for dabs and then some for edibles. Decarbing wax/shatter is as easy as a glass pyrex pot and a heating plate/electric griddle.
Keeping to just your honey oil question, if stinking up your kitchen doesnt matter, decarb it in the oven at a specified temp (THC or CDB) and then extract with the ISO/Alcohol. If decarbing after the fact you will spend more time and effort getting there then stinking up your kitchen for an hour or so. Th