Thanx, but there is no helping in this situation, nor do I ask anything other than what this is. I am just using this venue as a sounding board. I've spoken with her time and again, just to keep from letting things build to the point where I will be a dick.
According to her, she was "advised" not to have any contact with me as she was on misdemeanor probation for simple possession of pot. She claims her PO and her lawyer both advised that she could have no contact with anyone who is a felon, and that she was scared. I know her lawyer, and they cannot prevent a husband and wife from being just that, probation or no. My contention is that if she had any backbone at all she would have said "hey, he's my husband." I understand being scared. But I know for certain that if the roles were reversed, there is NO WAY IN HELL I'd have just abandoned her in her hour of need. No she couldn't visit me while she was on probation. But they cannot stop a wife from writing her husband, or sending him some money. But I don't want to make it about money here. She never even thought to question that. People who profess to love someone for better or worse would take a more proactive stance, IMHO.
In retrospect, and I've had a lot of time to sit and reflect, this has been one sided for a long time. She has never once called me on her way home and ask if I needed anything, I never fail to do so. She bitched at me for driving to the store when I had been drinking (as well she should have), but i wasn't a problem when she needed cigs.
Yes, the love will always be there, but I just don't seem to be able to get past the abandonment. Maybe I don't want to, I don't know. I have had 18 months to analyze the little nuances of our relationship, and there are so many ways that it has been onesided I can't list 'em all here. She has never been a "nurturer" and at one point, that might have been OK, but not any more.
