Odd situation, seeking advice and input

[Padawanbater2]

So my gf and I break up, she gets another bf, a month later they break up and her and I start talking again. She finds out she's 6 weeks pregnant a day after I tell her we should get serious. I'm 99% sure it's her exbf's, not mine.

Wtf do I do?

She's already decided she's having it.

 

[moash]

Get a dna test and go from there....

 

[InThEwOoDs]

CUT YOUR LOSSES AND RUN.





You and her both will get over it eventually.

 

[GreenGurl]

Sounds like she's got her life figured out. Do you want to be part of it or not? I know, that sucks... but that seems to be the deal you've got on the table. Keep your head up guy. GG

 

[machnak]

Man, honestly best advice I can say is do what makes you happy. Along with a DNA test. Definitely going to be a rough 9 months regardless though man.

 

[GreenGurl]

You might get some awesome sex out of it, considering those hormones... I know, I'm such a dude! LOL ;D

 

[Padawanbater2]

She said she doesn't want to get a DNA test till after it's born because of the risk. Meanwhile I don't know what I want to do. I feel kind of like she expects me to play the roll of the father because she says if I actually felt the way I said I did it wouldn't matter if she has a kid. I told her this changes things. Am I wrong if I don't want the responsibility of raising a child I'm not attached to?

 

[Padawanbater2]

She told the father and he doesn't want anything to do with her or it. Now she's really scared she's going to raise it alone.

 

[GreenGurl]

You can't let her feelings affect your decision. It may sound harsh, but if you do make your decision based on her feelings, your stepping into a massive pile of co-dependency. It is HER CHOICE to have the baby, not yours. It is HER LIFE to lead with or without that baby, not yours. You can only choose to support her, with or without baby. Sounds like a rough road to me either way.

Could you get her to a couples counselor really quick to see about what your choices could still be? She is likely really confused right now, and could benefit from some positive interaction and support from you. She might decide having that baby is not the smooth move she previously thought... :\

Good luck bro, seriously sounds like a tough situation.

BTW: you WILL be attached to that kid, once s/he's born. Unless you are a creep, which I can't believe.

 

[Finshaggy]

So my gf and I break up, she gets another bf, a month later they break up and her and I start talking again. She finds out she's 6 weeks pregnant a day after I tell her we should get serious. I'm 99% sure it's her exbf's, not mine.

Wtf do I do?

She's already decided she's having it.

Tell her sorry, but dip out.

There are plenty girls for you not to waste your life on that one, and you can make your own baby.

 

[medicalmaryjane]

it depends how you really feel about her and to be honest, if you've broken up and within a month, she had someone else and is having his child, you probably won't last. you may love her but iit does't sound liek she loves you back, youre convenient for her right now. id walk.

 

[Finshaggy]

She told the father and he doesn't want anything to do with her or it. Now she's really scared she's going to raise it alone.

I understand this, but the court system handles this well.
Help her.
Have her record a couple of the guys calls, or you do it (With him talking like a shit head). Then in court he won't be able to get custody or tax cut rights. And will probably be forced to pay child support as most fathers are.
It's set up so she won't have to do anything herself now that she has a baby. The court won't just let a dad walk away, if you can prove he did.

 

[bucbuc420]

Its a rough decision. Its all how u feel about her. Thing is if you do dip then what happens if it is yours. Personally if I was in your shoes I would judge on how much I loved and trusted her, true thiers alot of fish on the sea bit how many of them are keepers to take home. If she is the one then hey..... To me that's what matters.

 

[bucbuc420]

And on the part of not being attached well I have a stepson.....met him when he was three, you'll end up loving him equally as you would love your own. Its pretty amazing.

 

[Orithil]

There is only one right answer. Do what you want, fuck everyone else.

Edit: And for what it's worth, I don't think it's wrong to not want to be saddled with someone else's responsibility. I've been very careful not to have a kid because I wasn't ready for that, I worked hard for this freedom and if loving my freedom is wrong then the terrorists win.

 

[Finshaggy]

And on the part of not being attached well I have a stepson.....met him when he was three, you'll end up loving him equally as you would love your own. Its pretty amazing.

I have 2 step parents, and that has been true for neither.
Haven't spoken to my stepdad since I was like 15(Because he tackled me for standing up to him, and sent me away for 8 months), even though we lived in the same house until right before I was 18.
And my step mom was just a step-bitch. And I haven't talked to her in about the same amount of time, but I didn't live with her.
I met both around 2-3rd grade.

 

[Orithil]

I have 2 step parents, and that has been true for neither.
Haven't spoken to my stepdad since I was like 15(Because he tackled me for standing up to him, and sent me away for 8 months), even though we lived in the same house until right before I was 18.
And my step mom was just a step-bitch. And I haven't talked to her in about the same amount of time, but I didn't live with her.
I met both around 2-3rd grade.

4th grade here, but similar story. Step dad was an alcoholic prick who took to keeping a loaded gun with him in the months prior to kicking me out because he didn't "feel safe around the nut case", and my step mom just wanted my dad to write off his previous kids and devote himself to the new marriage and her three bitch-ass daughters, which apparently wasn't too hard to do.

Whatever, not a therapy session - but think about this, which is worse :
A.) Having no father in the picture, or
B.) Having a father in the picture that regrets everything about you, or
C.) Having parents who fight all the time, separate when you're 6-12, be shuttled between the two with their new significant others and feeling lost in the mix?

 

[medicalmaryjane]

or worse, miserable parents who stay together regardless of being miserable and you have to listen to how miserable they are eveyday for YEARS AND YEARS.

 

[ganjames]

you should just forget her ass, unless you look like rocky dennis... then you should probably stick around.

 

[boneheadbob]

Take it from someone who has been there. You can devote your time, energy and love into her and her innocent, lovely child. You may come to love that kid like your own. You may learn what love really means when you know you would not hesitate a moment to throw your life away for that child. You can be a great man and prove to that women that you love her and her kid as much as the universe is wide,,,,,,,

but anytime she wants her way or she wants to hurt you (men use to hurt you with their fists, women hurt you in devious ways) she will use the innocent child. Saying things like she is not yours anyway so dont tell me how to raise MY child or that fella may decide he wants a wife and kid all ready to go and she will go back.

There is the possibilty that you will live happily ever after like snow white but odds are against you after her leaving already

No matter I what I wish you well, Like someone said if you get on the love boat you will come to love that child like your own and she will use that because she is not good at punching you, wrestling around, shaking hands and then going drinking