Where do you think the line is...

[Carne Seca]

I spent my entire childhood thinking my name was Cochino!

 

[Padawanbater2]

to each thier own, if someone thinks they need to smack their kid around a little then thats their decision.

Why do you believe this?

I don't believe kids are the same as property, having one comes with certain responsibilities.

When does their decision become abuse? What if a parent is mentally unstable and decides to discipline their kid for reasons, that, to you, seem trivial at best?

 

[CR500ROOST]

Were you ever hit as a kid, Hep?

My dad and uncles would get the shit beat out of them for the stupid shit they would do.Didn't help them at all.My dad tells me he should have hit me when I was little, I tell him it didn't work to well for you.

 

[DuplicatePie]

i didn't say anything about "beating the shit out of your kids" i'm saying if somebody wants to smack their kids when they get out of line that is their own choice.

If I misunderstood you when you said it was cool to smack you kid around a little if you felt they deserved it, my bad. If you mean giving them a little swat when they do something really wrong then I agree. Such as the time my niece ran out into the traffic area of a parking lot right in front of a car. I swatted her on her diapered butt one time and she cried for two seconds, but so be it. I would rather be known as the uncle that gave one weak spanking vs. the uncle who saw his niece get run over. I just think it's VERY important to remember that if you have to continuously strike your/a child time and time again over the same thing, then it is not working. Doing such things to children can cause them to not be able to regulate their emotions, and have an extremely difficult time getting through life. Especially because I have similar problems, I would really rather that, my kids, my family's kids, anyone's kids don't share the same problems.

 

[Urca]

the line is bruises.
too many little kids go without a good smack and they turn out to be little shits.
I've had my ass beaten plenty of times... with belts, hangers, open hands, fists. i deserved it too. its not to say you should hit your kid for every wrong thing they do, and spanking should stop when they are ten (to be replaced by a well placed smack). belts and open hands only, belts for extreme disobeying, and open hands for everything else. no need to do like my mom did, with hangers and throwing stuff at me and getting hella heated and whaling on me.

 

[Blaze Master]

If I misunderstood you when you said it was cool to smack you kid around a little if you felt they deserved it, my bad. If you mean giving them a little swat when they do something really wrong then I agree. Such as the time my niece ran out into the traffic area of a parking lot right in front of a car. I swatted her on her diapered butt one time and she cried for two seconds, but so be it. I would rather be known as the uncle that gave one weak spanking vs. the uncle who saw his niece get run over. I just think it's VERY important to remember that if you have to continuously strike your/a child time and time again over the same thing, then it is not working. Doing such things to children can cause them to not be able to regulate their emotions, and have an extremely difficult time getting through life. Especially because I have similar problems, I would really rather that, my kids, my family's kids, anyone's kids don't share the same problems.

now i think you understand. if someone has to beat their kids regularly then it's not working and they need to try something else. it should be more of the threat of being smacked that is the deterrent.

 

[Padawanbater2]

I disagree. I really don't see any reason to hit your kid with anything other than your hand as it's pretty clear the only intention at that point would be to instill fear in them "Do you want me to get the BELT!?". That, to me, is the definition of abuse. You're not teaching them a lesson, you're teaching them to fear you and be obedient no matter what.

I've been hit with belts, shoes, hangars, cords, you name it.

I've seen kids who've never been hit a single time in their life and have grown up to be pretty decent people. I think there are a lot of personal biases showing when it comes to that, as the generations before us had pretty much no issue with it. But our generation has to consider all the Rx's more than half the kids in the country are taking on a regular basis and all the other variables that are seemingly being discounted (shut in culture, no exercise, no sun, constant video games, etc.), throw in what we're feeding them... recipe for disaster. The solution is to hit them to get your message across?

Seems absolutely counter productive.

 

[ganjames]

smart people don't hit their kids, they teach them. if your kid acts like a little piece of shit, that's your fault.

unfortunately the majority of people on this planet are really dumb, so it's pointless to try to get that through to them... So at the end of the day you kinda have to sit back and accept it.

 

[ganjames]

but another thing that's sad are kids that have shitty parents, or are born into a shitty situation.

statistically speaking, kids who grow up with both parents and live in a nice house, do better in school and are more well behaved.

 

[Pipe Dream]

I have a child and rarely ever hit her. When I do it's usually just a slight smack on the mouth, not like a punch or even a full on smack just a tap. It happens so infrequently, she doesn't even know how to react when it happens. All I have to do is pretend to hit her and she cries as if I was whooping her ass. As a result, she knows she can get away with anything and can be a real smart ass sometimes. I have to remind her that I have a breaking point and that I'm serious and bigger than her. I sometimes got my ass whooped as a child and I deserved it. I would never consider my parents abusive even when I got my ass paddled with a stick.

To me, abuse is an ongoing thing. It escalates and is so common the child is punished for just about everything or even nothing at all. Rare occasions of a child acting out, being disrespectful or breaking the rules may deserve some kind of reminder that some physical pain can be administered, but only mostly as a threat to get the child to behave and not real attacks. Spanking and maybe a slight pop to the mouth when necessary is okay IMO if it is not a common thing or not warranted by extreme behavior-CPS probably wouldn't agree though.

Punching, kicking, bruises, cuts, burns, broken bones, attacking an infant, sexual or physcological abuse etc. is obviously not justifiable and dangerous.

 

[H R Puff N Stuff]

punishment is to teach the child not to releive the parents anger when i was young i got spankins it was usually after a long explenation of why, very controlled like ok i am going to give you 1 spankin you understand why right i would say yes, swat, and that would be it.i think it becomes abuse when you get more than 2 swats or it comes out of left field that is what instills fear in children i always new when and why i was getting the spankin and wether it was going to be 1 swat or 2 nobody likes a spankin but i never felt abused.

 

[dannyboy602]

ive helped raise many kids. it DOES take a village. and as corporal punishment goes you only need to get kids undivided attention. sometimes that takes a smack on the butt. but it's not the pain that gets their attention. it's the humiliation. conversely my grandfather only had to give us "that look" and we knew our limitations. i'd rather have a kid's respect than a kid's fear.

 

[ANC]

Ghetto's and jails are full of children who disrespeact their parents and ahve no fear of them.

 

[prebop]

Children need discipline both in the home and in school. The first thing a child learns in 1st grade is how to call 911 if they think they are being abused. That is just plain stupid. My little girl threatened to call 911 on me because I wouldn't let her go outside and play until she finished her homework. That was the last time she ever did that! I never spanked my daughter, just made her think I was going to. Worked great.
If as a teacher you walk into a class room with head phones on and refuse to take them off...your ass is mine. Oh, right up until I get fired for abuse. That's why kids don't learn shit in school these days and there are so many drop outs. Each child is different and they respond in different ways, the worst thing you can do is just let them do their own thing. They need guidance, that is what being a parent is about.

 

[blakasassin1]

Yeah my dad is pretty cool but he could be impulsive sometimes and say something he doesnt want to but like 30mins after he apologizes which pisses me off because its like dont say it at all..
my parents never whipped me but they taught me right from wrong.man now that i think about it i was a little shit when i was like 16 i had so many fights with my dad omg one ending in me being locked up for 6 hrs in juvie because i pushed him out of my way and he said i hit him.but thats the past.
I think some verbal abuse can be used if your child does something bad in limits ofc not curse at him...
example-child steals someones bike. how do you think that kid feels now that you stole his bike.where going to his house right now and your gonna apologize for stealing his bike and your gonna give him one of your toys.
tell you what i dont think he will be stealing another bike haha i wouldnt wanna go through the embarrassment of apologizing to that kid..
if your too soft your kid will think there is no negative repercussions and we know what that leads to.
Tbh my parents let me do to many things and never really teached me work ethic now im a lazy fucker lol

 

[blakasassin1]

ive helped raise many kids. it DOES take a village. and as corporal punishment goes you only need to get kids undivided attention. sometimes that takes a smack on the butt. but it's not the pain that gets their attention. it's the humiliation. conversely my grandfather only had to give us "that look" and we knew our limitations. i'd rather have a kid's respect than a kid's fear.

lol i know what your talking about with humiliation my friend one time prank called my parents and has father found out and he took him to our house and whipped him right infront of all of us.i think it was to far for something that little

 

[whatsaroach?lol???]

First of all there is a lot of dumb answers and a lot of reasonable answer on this thread in my opinion. I got spanked with all types of shit when I was young . Hot wheel race track. Ping pong paddle. Hand. Etc there a lot of whinny people on this thread. If u got a spanking or disciplinary action juss take it as love. I mean fuck they could have not spanked you and juss give u away to some other parent gave u up for adoption or abortion in the womb. Ask your parent the prolly got displinary action as well. With every action there a reaction wether it b good or not. However I don't blieve slapping in the face or nething remotely close to it. Spank on the behind slap on the hand. Shit I know when I spankedmy little nephew it hurt his feelings more than anything. But he knew its not ok to hit his lil brother ne more. I gave him one swift spank to the butt as I put him in time out. After ten minutes in time out I made jm apologize and explained to him why it not ok to hit his brother in the face

 

[ANC]

Even at school I'd seldom get hidings from the teachers, most of them were of the opinion that I'm the kind of person its better talking to than hitting... can't say the same for most of the other kids, rural school with lots of farm kids.

 

[ANC]

lol i know what your talking about with humiliation my friend one time prank called my parents and has father found out and he took him to our house and whipped him right infront of all of us.i think it was to far for something that little

Another good thing about a hiding, is its over when its over, noone walks around on eggshells, when I got a hiding at home it was always followed with a hug.

 

[1993stoner]

The only reason I would hit my kid is if they are being disrespectfull or if they are doing something dangerous.