Ultimate Freak-the-fuck-out of Freak Outs. (Winter Woman please don't read this)

MojoRison

MojoRison

Well-Known Member
Damn....This and being caught in your Spongebob undies, you give new meaning to shit happens lol
 
Carne Seca

Carne Seca

Well-Known Member
MojoRison said:
Damn....This and being caught in your Spongebob undies, you give new meaning to shit happens lol
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All the fucking time. In 2006 I paid off my car a week before Thanksgiving. I made a plan to save enough money and pay cash for a new one. I was sick of car payments. Two days after Thanksgiving a car pulls out of a side street without looking and totals my car. The airbags bent my left wrist so far back that the leather band snapped on my watch. A month later I was driving a new car with payments higher than my last one and I spent a year going to physical therapy for the injury to my wrist.

Three years ago I got a bad cut on my left leg and ended up with blood poisoning. I ended up in the hospital after emergency surgery. They cut my leg to the bone to drain it. I had to go through three MRSA scrubdowns. Picture the Silkwood radiation exposure shower scene and you have a pretty good idea what I went through. They strip you naked and scrub your ass from head to toe. Nothing is missed inbetwen. Nothing. Then the fucked up surgeon stitched up my wound and sent me home. A week later I was back in the hospital with a wound vac on my leg and a two week stay. Then two months of visits to the wound clinic were they took off the bandages and scrubbed the wound. Scrubbed it. By then I was off all the good pain meds. It was very very painful.

Then there was the bucking barrel incident. My tailbone is still sensitive. And the time I fell off the roof fixing the swamp cooler and into a cedar tree. The list goes on and on.
 
jamboss

jamboss

Well-Known Member
Carne Seca said:
Last night after taking my nephew home I made some Gem Chili Soup. The air was crisp and cool so I felt a nice warm soup would be nice. I had all the ingredients and used my favorite knife for the prep work. It's a heavy blade much like a butcher's blade. It took me about an hour to prep and cook the food and then I cleaned up the kitchen, washed the dishes and placed the blade back in it's slot and went to bed.

I decided to make enchiladas from the chili soup this morning. I needed to chop some onions and grate cheese. I was having soft boiled eggs on top so I started with that and then grated the cheese. I had the chili heating on the stove. I pulled out the chopping block and grabbed the knife I used last night. When I was walking over to chopping block, holding the knife, I felt something squirming under my hand. I turned the knife over I noticed a white sac was attached to the handle of the blade. That was sitting in the palm of my hand. I took me couple of seconds before I realized what it was. A spider egg sac. And then it exploded.

Baby spiders went everywhere. Thousands of them. Crawling up and down my arm, over my chest and on my face. ON MY FACE!!!! Without thinking I threw the knife and ran. Stripping off clothes as I went. By the time I hit the bathroom door I was stark naked and screaming, OH MY GOD!!!! OHHHHH MYYY GOOOOOODDD!!!! I scrubbed myself raw. I washed and rinsed so may times that the hot water heater ran out of hot water. Picture me curled up in a ball on the shower stall floor rocking back and forth saying, "I'm in a happy place. I'm in a happy place.."

When I finally composed myself I went into my bedroom for new clothes. I checked them thoroughly for spiders. That's when I smelled something burning. I ran into the kitchen just in time to see an egg explode and cover the wall with embryo shrapnel. Fuck! I took the eggs off the burner. The smell was horrible. I grabbed the bug spray and began spraying every surface I possibly could and my clothes. I took the clothes outside and hosed them off. They're in the washer right now. I spent a good hour and a half cleaning and scrubbing the kitchen.

That's when I realized that I hadn't run across the knife I had thrown. I just scrubbed everything down and didn't remember seeing it. I started thinking about what direction it flew when I lost my shit. Toward the stove. I had to clean the stovetop because of the egg explosion and realized that there was a huge amount of chili splatter as well.

I knew where the knife was then.

I looked inside the chili pot and there it was. A small part of the handle still sticking out of the soup. With baby spiders all over it and floating in the soup.

This is how my Monday started.
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You're just like just mr.bean.
 
Shannon Alexander

Shannon Alexander

Well-Known Member
MojoRison said:
Damn....This and being caught in your Spongebob undies, you give new meaning to shit happens lol
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Wait... Carne has Sponge Bob undies..? I've been looking for some for ages... I saw some awesome pairs SB boxer briefs but never got around to buying them, and now there doesn't seem to be any of the good ones anymore...
 
TheChosen

TheChosen

Well-Known Member
Yea just to be straight forward. I and patlpp are under the guise that you have one ball sack, with two (or more if applicable) balls residing in the aforementioned sack.
 
Winter Woman

Winter Woman

Well-Known Member
Carne Seca said:
Last night after taking my nephew home I made some Gem Chili Soup. The air was crisp and cool so I felt a nice warm soup would be nice. I had all the ingredients and used my favorite knife for the prep work. It's a heavy blade much like a butcher's blade. It took me about an hour to prep and cook the food and then I cleaned up the kitchen, washed the dishes and placed the blade back in it's slot and went to bed.

I decided to make enchiladas from the chili soup this morning. I needed to chop some onions and grate cheese. I was having soft boiled eggs on top so I started with that and then grated the cheese. I had the chili heating on the stove. I pulled out the chopping block and grabbed the knife I used last night. When I was walking over to chopping block, holding the knife, I felt something squirming under my hand. I turned the knife over I noticed a white sac was attached to the handle of the blade. That was sitting in the palm of my hand. I took me couple of seconds before I realized what it was. A spider egg sac. And then it exploded.

Baby spiders went everywhere. Thousands of them. Crawling up and down my arm, over my chest and on my face. ON MY FACE!!!! Without thinking I threw the knife and ran. Stripping off clothes as I went. By the time I hit the bathroom door I was stark naked and screaming, OH MY GOD!!!! OHHHHH MYYY GOOOOOODDD!!!! I scrubbed myself raw. I washed and rinsed so may times that the hot water heater ran out of hot water. Picture me curled up in a ball on the shower stall floor rocking back and forth saying, "I'm in a happy place. I'm in a happy place.."

When I finally composed myself I went into my bedroom for new clothes. I checked them thoroughly for spiders. That's when I smelled something burning. I ran into the kitchen just in time to see an egg explode and cover the wall with embryo shrapnel. Fuck! I took the eggs off the burner. The smell was horrible. I grabbed the bug spray and began spraying every surface I possibly could and my clothes. I took the clothes outside and hosed them off. They're in the washer right now. I spent a good hour and a half cleaning and scrubbing the kitchen.

That's when I realized that I hadn't run across the knife I had thrown. I just scrubbed everything down and didn't remember seeing it. I started thinking about what direction it flew when I lost my shit. Toward the stove. I had to clean the stovetop because of the egg explosion and realized that there was a huge amount of chili splatter as well.

I knew where the knife was then.

I looked inside the chili pot and there it was. A small part of the handle still sticking out of the soup. With baby spiders all over it and floating in the soup.

This is how my Monday started.
Click to expand...
OMG!!!! OMG!!! O-M-G!!! I would have been naked way before I hit the bathroom door. Might even have considered cutting my hair and shaving my head too. Right now my skin feels like something is crawling on it and in it.

Just think the baby spiders you missed are still somewhere inside your house. OMG, they are still in your house! Hurry up and run while you still can!

Seriously. I think I might bug bomb the house.
 
Carne Seca

Carne Seca

Well-Known Member
Winter Woman said:
OMG!!!! OMG!!! O-M-G!!! I would have been naked way before I hit the bathroom door. Might even have considered cutting my hair and shaving my head too. Right now my skin feels like something is crawling on it and in it.

Just think the baby spiders you missed are still somewhere inside your house. OMG, they are still in your house! Hurry up and run while you still can!

Seriously. I think I might bug bomb the house.
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Gurrrrrllll... I told you not to read it. LOL

MojoRison said:
LOL...I don't know why Carne but your avatar, seems to have much more meaning now
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Which is one of the reasons why I chose it. :p
 
sunni

sunni

Administrator
Staff member
hmmm seems like the time, i bought a half oz and smoked a shitthen picked upa huge nug for me and friend went to rip it apart and grindit when i noticed a giant fucking sac of larva, like white cotton with little baby worms or something in it and then freaked out because we just smoked like 2 grams of shit without noticing if there was a giant sack of larva in it...
 
Winter Woman

Winter Woman

Well-Known Member
How silly of me? What was I thinking? Bug bomb the house. LOL. If you didn't do that after the Tarantula you'll never do it.

Natural spider killer or preventative: take one cup of vinegar, one cup of pepper, a teaspoon of oil and liquid soap. Put it into a spray bottle and spray along the outside of your outside door and along windows; refresh after it rains. I don't know if it works but it made me feel better.
 
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