We BOTH didn't want to get pregnant. AT ALL! Shit, we were living 90 minutes outta Vegas and were newlyweds! She had lived a sheltered life and i wanted to show her how to REALLY live. And she wanted to learn.
Neither one of us wanted a child at the moment or in the very near future. We took all the steps we could to prevent it short of abstinence. ANYBODY should know that no plan is fail-proof. High percentages are high percentages and slim odds are slim odds BUT, lighting DOES strike. If one, in ANY situation, believes that something is 100% ALL the time, they have committed a GRAVE mistake in logic and tactics. We had that "what if" discussion and her stated position was that we would follow through because if a sperm and an egg happened to meet in spite of all our attempts to prevent it, then there just MIGHT be a reason it happened. When it DID happen, against long odds, i felt less that "it" was special and more that "it" was a part of me.
I was the one who got morning sickness,
I was the one who had weird cravings,
I was the one who first felt him kick (because i was a doting daddy),
I was the one who got us signed up for WIC, maternity and parenting classes,
I was the one who nested. She, even for two months after his birth, referred to him as "it". i didn't really notice. My Mom and sisters did.
NOW, 6 years divorced with shared custody (she now sees him one weekend a month, LONG story), she is taking me back to court so she can have more time to re-build the "relationship" that she claims i have sabotaged with her son.
SOOoooo, here we are. She wanted to abort him. i wanted to have him. Lots of water under the bridge and she wants to go to court over the son she wanted to flush down a drain.
Sorry. End rant i guess. Just wanted to clarify my perspective.
It felt good.
Btw, don't think that her actions while pregnant and every day thereafter (as well as before) won't be used against her when determining her "fitness" as a mother.