Letting go of nearly every friend I have

[HeartlandHank]

I guess I've been too generous to the friends I have made over the past 4-5 yrs.
I've always been a generous guy. If I have it, and we're hanging out, then WE have it. Like that.

For some reason, not many people can handle that kind of friend without getting a sense of entitlement.
It's like, generosity is now expected of me. I've got just 3 friends in my life right now that I can say do not have a sense of entitlement to my generosity... or, just expect it from me.

It's my own fault though. You can't be that guy who is overly generous... it fucks up your relationships with others.
I'm looking forward to shedding some friends. I just feel like I give and give... sitting there with my junk in my hand and picking up the tab.

 

[hempyninja309]

Head up pal! Have had some problems with friends too in the past. Just means you need to do some soul searching. Trust me good people and real people are out there Sometimes you have to interact with the wrong people so when the time comes you know who the right people are.

 

[HeartlandHank]

And I LIKE picking up the tab. I just don't like doing it for people that aren't really my friends/using me/taking advantage.
Like I said though.. I did it to myself.

 

[HeartlandHank]

Head up pal! Have had some problems with friends too in the past. Just means you need to do some soul searching. Trust me good people and real people are out there Sometimes you have to interact with the wrong people so when the time comes you know who the right people are.

I know some good people too. It's just that I'm acquiring these "friends" over the years that aren't really friends.
I'm letting go of my phone # and a load of "friends".

 

[HeartlandHank]

I had this friend cover some of my work while I was out of town.... He pawned my tools while I was gone and didn't get them out before i got back.
I had to go get my own shit out of pawn. fucking lame.

I'm not trying to boo-hoo here and get sympathy.

More so, I'm kind of warning people out there like me. This hobby can bring expendable cash. Spreading it around to friends seems like a good thing, but it can have a negative effect on you and your friends.

Friendships that COULD have been good can go sour because of the generosity.

 

[hempyninja309]

Yeah that's pretty low Hank. It probably burns right now but in the end im betting you will be happier after removing the fake friends from your life. Quality over quantity my friend.

 

[B.B.V.C.]

I had this friend cover some of my work while I was out of town.... He pawned my tools while I was gone and didn't get them out before i got back.
I had to go get my own shit out of pawn. fucking lame.

Yeah thats probably a friend you want to drop. Thats a pretty shitty thing to do to a friend, tools aren't cheap

 

[HeartlandHank]

Yeah that's pretty low Hank. It probably burns right now but in the end im betting you will be happier after removing the fake friends from your life. Quality over quantity my friend.

Definitely. Again, I'm not all tearing up about it. I just thought some other people on RIU might find my experience a useful bit of knowledge.

I've got some real friends. And they are fucking rad..

 

[blacksun]

Yea, real friends are few and far between. Lot of people like to ask for shit constantly and then when you need something, they're no where to be found. And if you don't help them out when they ask, they forget about everything you have ever done for them and bitch instead.

Charge their asses money. Their "friendship" isn't worth it.

 

[smokeytokeybear]

me too hank, and there hard to find nowadays

 

[HeartlandHank]

There are fucking great people all over. Less than not so great people? sure, probably so.. But... I'll have more time to spend with my girl and those people around me that are good shit through and through.
So, I'm feeling good about this change.

 

[ClaytonBigsby]

Didn't we have this talk early last year? I had just cut ties with two friends I'd known for 20 years. Some times you outgrow your "friends". Don't forget, paying all the time is how celebrities and athletes go broke within a couple years of retiring. And all of those "Friends" have moved on to the next cat with a black AMEX. It's ok to buy as long as you get back in other ways. Not everyone can have money all of the time, but appreciation goes a long way for sure.

 

[UncleBuck]

Yeah thats probably a friend you want to drop. Thats a pretty shitty thing to do to a friend, tools aren't cheap

not only aren't tools cheap, but they can be personal.

i have several tools handed down from my dad or grandpa that mean the world to me even though it's just a screwdriver or locking pliers or a razor.

 

[HeartlandHank]

Didn't we have this talk early last year? I had just cut ties with two friends I'd known for 20 years. Some times you outgrow your "friends". Don't forget, paying all the time is how celebrities and athletes go broke within a couple years of retiring. And all of those "Friends" have moved on to the next cat with a black AMEX. It's ok to buy as long as you get back in other ways. Not everyone can have money all of the time, but appreciation goes a long way for sure.

I wasn't in on that thread I guess..

Yeah, the actual loss of money is another thing. I never really break myself. It's just disappointing when it becomes clear that your "pal" is coming around for more than company.
More than disappointing to lose the friend is the sort of attitude it's leaving me with going forward. I don't like feeling the need to keep a guard up for new folks i meet, you know?

I'm thinking what's best is I cut the generosity thing out of my interactions with people. You mean well but I've found more often than not it leads to something else.

Damn, 20 years.. sorry to hear that dude.
My "friends" are just kinda people I picked up over the last 5 or so and just keep coming around.. From an old friend... that would hurt a bit.

 

[ClaytonBigsby]

Yeah, I tell my wife al of the time she has to stop being so generous. She hardly ever gets any "love" back from people, and some get quite angry with her if she stops giving them shit. It's insane.

 

[HeartlandHank]

not only aren't tools cheap, but they can be personal.

i have several tools handed down from my dad or grandpa that mean the world to me even though it's just a screwdriver or locking pliers or a razor.

Nice. Yeah man, I got some of those. I've got this old wheelbarrow from my grandpa. It's all beat to shit but I'll keep it around for a long time. It's barely usable at this point. haha.

 

[UncleBuck]

Nice. Yeah man, I got some of those. I've got this old wheelbarrow from my grandpa. It's all beat to shit but I'll keep it around for a long time. It's barely usable at this point. haha.

i have a pair of vice grips that i need a second pair of vice grips to adjust.

 

[HeartlandHank]

i have a pair of vice grips that i need a second pair of vice grips to adjust.

 

[420God]

I find it hard to believe that the majority of people are suppose to be good when so many will screw you over to get their own.

Humans can be devious creatures.

 

[Autistic Austin]

Didn't we have this talk early last year? I had just cut ties with two friends I'd known for 20 years. Some times you outgrow your "friends". Don't forget, paying all the time is how celebrities and athletes go broke within a couple years of retiring. And all of those "Friends" have moved on to the next cat with a black AMEX. It's ok to buy as long as you get back in other ways. Not everyone can have money all of the time, but appreciation goes a long way for sure.

This is the internet, everyone needs attention too.