F%ckers Need To Laugh !!!

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WhatAmIDoing

Well-Known Member
tahoe58 said:
lil' jonny was trying to get to sleep but he heard a commotion in his parent room. Jonny went down the hall and cracked open the door....only to see his dad bent over his mom, and his mom moaning and groaning. His dad looks over flashes a great big smile and with a thumbs up....waves Jonny away.....

A little later in the evening, the father was trying to get some sleep....when he was bothered by the commotion coming from lil'Jonny's room. The father got out of bed, and marched down to his son's room....and peaked in....there was lil'Jonny ,banging away on Grandma....looking at his dsad...and says.....ain't so funny when it YOUR mom eh?!:mrgreen:
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HAHAhaha...aahh man, this whole thread is killer. :mrgreen:
 
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WhatAmIDoing

Well-Known Member
Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: No idear



Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? A: Still no idear.
 
Stoney McFried

Stoney McFried

Well-Known Member
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
fdd2blk said:
Confucious Quotes Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have shitty time.
Man who stand on toilet high on pot.
Man who smoke pot choke on handle.
Man who walk through airport door sideways going to Bangkok.
Man who have women on ground have piece on earth.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Take many nails to make a crib but one screw to fill it.
Man who go to bed with itchy ass wake up with sticky fingers.
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Stoney McFried

Stoney McFried

Well-Known Member
A lonely trucker is driving down the road when he spots a nun. Pulling over, he asks, "Sister, would you like a ride?" The pretty nun turns to him and says in a sultry voice"Oh yes...I would!" And up she climbs into the cab. As they drive along, they start talking about life,etc....Finally he confesses"I....I'm so lonely driving this here road all the time...I drive so much, I haven't had a woman in almost a year.Do you think.....maybe you could sleep with me?" The nun shakes her head firmly. "no, that would be a sin!" The trucker sighs and sadly says, "yeah youre right. I'm sorry." They drive down the road a bit further when she turns to him and says,"I guess it wouldnt be such a sin if you just fuck me in the ass." Surprised, the man readily agrees. They climb into the bunk and do the deed. Afterwards, the trucker is stricken with guilt. As they start driving down the road again, he begins to cry. "Oh sister...I'll surely go to hell now...I've got a wife and kids at home...and I just sodomized a nun!" "Don't sweat it,"replies a deep baritone."My real name is Bob and I'm just going to a costume party in town!"
 
S

stickycrippler

Well-Known Member
NO GROW said:
A newlywed couple returned to their apartment after being on their honeymoon.

"Care to go upstairs and do it?" the husband asked.

"Shh!" said the bride "All the neighbors will know what we're about to do. These walls are paper thin. In the future, we'll have to ask each other in code. For example, how about asking, 'Have you left the washing machine door open' instead?"

So, the following night, the husband asks, "I don't suppose you left the washing machine door open, did you?"

"No, I definitely shut it," replied the wife who rolled over and fell asleep.

When she woke up however, she was feeling a little frisky herself and she nudged her husband and said, "I think I did leave the washing machine door open after all. Would you like to do some washing?"

"No, thanks," said the husband. "It was only a small load so I did it by hand."
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lmao....good stuff :hump:
 
Stoney McFried

Stoney McFried

Well-Known Member
Marital Counseling
A husband and wife came for counseling after 20 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 20 years they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"

The husband thought for a moment and replied, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."
 
Stoney McFried

Stoney McFried

Well-Known Member
Special Bullfrog
One day a lady walks into a pet store to buy her boyfriend a birthday present. She tells the owner, "I want to get my boyfriend a pet, but I only have $20. What do you have for that?" The owner says, "Hmm. I only have pedigree animals here, but I think I have something in back," and he goes back and comes out with a bullfrog. He says, "This is no ordinary bullfrog, this bullfrog gives blowjobs."
Thinking the frog could save her a little work around the house, the lady said, "I'll take it."
She takes it home and gives it to her boyfriend, who is less than thrilled. She smiles and says, "This is no ordinary bullfrog - I'm going to leave you two alone and let you get to know each other."
About 45 minutes later, the lady hears pots and pans banging around in the kitchen, she runs in and yells, "What the hell is going on around here!?"
The man looks up from a cookbook and says, "If I can teach this frog how to cook you're outta here."
 
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