That's how they get yah! It's just not ideal, but becomes more and more relevant the longer we are here. I remember being younger and knowing things got better when you where an adult... This sucks. It's come to my attention we all suffer from birthdays every year, just know you're not alone! Stand (or sit) strong brothers for together we can overcome our youth!
I was taught to open a speech with enthusiasm and eye contact but it's typically around this part I just abridge the speech and get the point across. I had a strange inception dream where I pissed my pants, woke up and pissed my pants.... Then I really woke up and made myself get up so I didn't have to blame my girlfriend for pissing the bed. As I slouched on the wall half aiming for water half knowing I'd be cleaning the seat with a sterile, ammonia, free range, organic solution.. I thought to myself 'did I almost pee the fucking bed?' Images immediately started rushing into my head; Depends Adult Diapers, access ramps, $7 checks for holidays..FIGGY PUDDING! I'm old. When the fuck did that happen!?
I make dad noises. I do this strange audible inhale hiccup before I burp (gastro aspiration? Is that a thing?) I don't trust my farts nearly enough anymore, and my socks are getting higher and higher.
What are some tell tale signs I can look out for? I've just heard getting old is a trap.. let's just help each other be aware of possible precursors