Nastiest Thing Ever Happened During Sex

pandabear said:
lol man thats a good one too, lol that will make a stiffy go limp:mrgreen:

but damn man 5 years of huffing farts? thats tough




j/k:bigjoint:
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Hey Panda....reminds me of the guy who was a virgin and went to a hooker looking for experience prior to his wedding night. She offered him 69 (which he had no knowledge of) and proceeded to get in the position. After a while the hooker had to fart. She looked down and noticed he didn't flinch. To which she asked" are you OK down there?" His answer was...."Yeah, but I don't know if I can handle 68 more of those". :spew:
 
i've never had a really embarrasing moment during sex, except if you count WHO i was in bed with. when i was a younger man it was about quantity, not quality. :hump:

but once i was getting heavy, clothes-on action that progressed into half clothes-off, just stick it inside sex. i guess she forgot she was wearing a tampon and we got that thing stuck so far up her she couldn't get it out when we realized. I didn't even feel it :-? but it took me about 5 mins of fishing with claw fingers in a TIGHT space before I pulled the thing out.

good thing it wasn't messy. :-?
 
One time, my bf and i were getting into some forepay. he decided it was a good idea to soak strawberries in vodka and sugar, put them in the freezer and feed me frozen strawberries that hardly even tasted like liquer!!! sneaky. anyways, i was getting drunk kinda fast becuase these things must have measured out to a shot each. he got really hard heally fast, which always turns me on, and i went to pull him out. i was about 5 minutes into sucking when i felt like i was gonna throw up. i pulled my lips off... and burped super loud! i blushed so hard. he just laughed when he looked down and saw me stairing back, covering my mouth, beet-red and shocked at myself. 2 years later he still thinks it was one of the cuitest things ive ever done.
 
So this one at band camp......NOT.

It took me a long time to decide to try giving a blow job. Finally I gave one and he went pee in my mouth so I spit it in his face and never looked back at him. Years later, after being tramatized from the first one, I tried again, and he liked it and he pees in toilets.
 
name101 said:
About 13 or so years ago, My now wife and I were in our teens, I guess we were around 15 or so, and went for a walk in the summer. We were both horny and saw a port O potty in the park and nobody was around. I looked inside and it was pretty clean so we went in. We were going at it really good and guess I didn't notice the rocking. Yeah, anyway it tipped over. IT SUCKED.

We got out and there was this one guy that must have come while we were inside and was laughing his ass off.
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OMG LMAO thats some funny shit

i guess the wrost thing ever happen to me is trying to stop my drunk b4 from giving me head while i was on my peroid..he still fuck me that night i was so grossed out first he had a condom on then he took it off and kept going, pulled his dick out and ewww it was covered in cum and blood then went right back to fucking :spew:

:-| i know now to hide from him when its that time
 
gohydro said:
Hey Panda....reminds me of the guy who was a virgin and went to a hooker looking for experience prior to his wedding night. She offered him 69 (which he had no knowledge of) and proceeded to get in the position. After a while the hooker had to fart. She looked down and noticed he didn't flinch. To which she asked" are you OK down there?" His answer was...."Yeah, but I don't know if I can handle 68 more of those". :spew:
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:clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap:
 
welll about a yr ago....this isnt nasty... just kinda funny/wierd...

I might the girl im with now .. and i wored with her and girl named haether .. and who ..

They both wanted to come over and play beer pong with us .. se we wer like suuure no problem .. so they come over after work .. but we didnt pla beer pong instead (me and my buddies rented a house) .. we three go up to my bedroom .. which the door doesnt lock ... (i wished to god it had still .. but that my lil secret) ... so they are pretty much light wieghts .. we get to drinking or what not... im makin screwdrivers for us .. ti start playing my guitar and just fukina round .. then next thing i kno im leaning against the wall making out with heather .. and my now g/f was just lookin at me saotarts going at it .. then silly me i was like "u kno what wud be hott .. is if u 2 kissed" spo they lookied at eachother an dfukin started going at it hardcore man i was like YEAAA then next thing i remember is us in our underwear and still just kissing and rbbign and sucking and bitting and the take their panties off and i took my boxers off and my now g/f was sucking my dick and i was makin out heather .. then they switched .. this goes on for like 15mins then both ofme were like .. Jake(shudnt my name but w/e) fuk us i was liek SCORE haha then my fucking stupid ass roommates come in with a video camera recording it all ...my g/f never lives this one down .... buttt butt like the next day at work everyone was like dude u had a threesome and i was like no i didnt .. i wish but no i didnt .. today i still tell my g/f that i wud have only fuked her .. but i wuda fuked both of them hahah thats for fukin sure !!!
 
I fucked a fat girl and stunk the whole house up. Sex to me has a pleasant smell but not this one. Not with a girl whose pussy ate my fist.
 
brasmith said:
So this one at band camp......NOT.

It took me a long time to decide to try giving a blow job. Finally I gave one and he went pee in my mouth so I spit it in his face and never looked back at him. Years later, after being tramatized from the first one, I tried again, and he liked it and he pees in toilets.
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I thought it was impossible to pee while having an erection? That suckkks
 
octafunk said:
I fucked a fat girl and stunk the whole house up. Sex to me has a pleasant smell but not this one. Not with a girl whose pussy ate my fist.
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:spew:One of the reasons Ive been scared to be with a woman...thats effen sick...and woulda been kicked out tha door fasho!
 
nope not impossible......but during the blow job I noticed he concentrated just a bit too much and then he let go. Personally I think he was into humiliating women so he could feel powerful.
 
Its sort of like a dog. They generally don*t smell in till you get them wet. Same situation. I didn*t know what I was in for in till it was a little to late.
 
brasmith said:
nope not impossible......but during the blow job I noticed he concentrated just a bit too much and then he let go. Personally I think he was into humiliating women so he could feel powerful.
Click to expand...
Someone pissed on me in the shower once...even though it was in the shower I still felt it was a tad disrespectful... same guy spit on my pussy while he was eating me out... I slapped him on the side of his head... I didnt need any lubrication and we're not in an effen porno.
 
I was Fucking this one girl everyway I could bend her ,after fucking every hole she had i felt the need to nutt in her ass.. So I pump her ass till i blow my load . and after i pull out she spins around and licks me clean. I was shocked but then glad I never kissed her ..
 
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