Need your fortune read? Ask and I'll tell you your fortune!
- Thread starter bu$hleaguer
- Start date
bu$hleaguer
Well-Known Member
Gimme my fortune Madam Bush.
Blue Man Group, your future looks very interesting indeed. As I look into my sweaty man ball, I see you will soon purchase large quantity of penis enhancement drugs, upon which you will become very addicted. Although they offer no actual enhancement or high, you nonetheless need stronger and bigger penis pills. You'll begin to anally freebase these pills, and your home will be full of needles and aluminum foil as you chase the cock pill dragon. Only your dear friend @Pinworm will be able to help your addiction.
bu$hleaguer
Well-Known Member
You are going to come upon an ancient dried monkey head in a shop one afternoon while stoned with your friends. The monkey head is said to have healing powers and has been used in rituals for different tribes and sects for hundreds of years. You however have no concern for the secret powers held within. You instead use it as a sex toy, and you will choose to fuck its hairy monkey face while wearing a variety of wigs and lipstick colors. You later in life will have a hard time achieving a full erection unless you rub the monkey head on your leather Cheerio first.
superloud
Well-Known Member
You mean I'm going to have friends..
bu$hleaguer
Well-Known Member
Yes, indeed I do. Growan, you will host a barnyard rave that gets completely out of control. The goat ecstasy, roofies, and Viagra make the nannies horny as balls, and you will have your way with them. Anal, aural, nasal, vaginal, you don't give a fuck, you'll scream at them. BAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH you will yell as you put the exclamation point on your sexual sentence by dropping a giant steaming log of goat shit on the face of a sad doe who's high as all get out.
bu$hleaguer
Well-Known Member
Exactly.
bu$hleaguer
Well-Known Member
Mr Magic, your penis will enjoy many a stroke this year. I will not lie, however, not all of the hands will be small and sweet with little French manicures. Some of them will be large, black and hairy, and will lead to hard anal sex with a black dude named Teeshawn.
bu$hleaguer
Well-Known Member
No dude, I'm a fucking talking game that spits out fortunes. I don't give anyone stuff, especially not love potions. Try taking a shower, shaving your grundle, and going on Craigslist. Just don't get pissed at Zoltar if the chick you fuck ends up being a dude. A hole is a hole to Zoltar.
tytheguy111
Well-Known Member
Hookabelly
Well-Known Member
What's my fortune?
Blue Wizard
Well-Known Member
bu$hleaguer
Well-Known Member
A pound of softened butter and a road cone.
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tytheguy111
Well-Known Member
thank you ill try it out tonight on this loose bitch i found on this list Craig has
oh and that wasn't softened butter thats in mudballs nose
its my seaman i have a nasty skull fucking addiction
heres how i propagate a skull fuck
tytheguy111
Well-Known Member
now SHE looks like a fluzzy i wonder if she can grab her ankles still???
they say if you can grab your ankles your not too old to fuck yet
bu$hleaguer
Well-Known Member
Hooka, you will be proposed to over take-out. If that's not a warning sign, I don't know what is.
bu$hleaguer
Well-Known Member
That's Ty's salty half people. He has a skull fucking problem.
bu$hleaguer
Well-Known Member
Chewie you son of a bitch! Fuck you! You will get shitfaced with a few of your good friends and make a bet you will later regret. The loser of this bet will have to drink a quart of thick, warm ballsack bolognese, and it's not looking good for you. Unfortunately you have no choice- you will be served a giant hot bowl of New England Cock Chowder.
Diabolical666
Well-Known Member
OMF! Call you butter, youre on a roll bushy