The UK Growers Thread!

shawnybizzle · May 5, 2013

Easy boys fuckin ell del boy what's with all the head fuck videos ;-)

got batterd at snooker last night by the bro the lucky fucker I'll have him next time!!!anyway heres a bit if gumby hash I've made

The Yorkshireman · May 5, 2013

tip top toker said:
where are you growing em? I'm having a fucker of a time keeping basil alive out in the flowerbeds atm. Weathers just too fucking dodgy.

Basil is extremely sensitive to cold so it'll be a couple of months yet before it'll survive outside due to the late frost we've had.

I bring seedlings on in cut down Wilma pots on my window sill then in the tent with the ganja when they have a couple of leaves but you can stick it in a cupboard under a CFL and it'll do better than outside.

Basil loves full sun and warmth so it's perfect for chucking in the tent, if it starts to put out white flowers at the tips just nip em off before they develop properly and it'll stop the plant from pollinating its self so they can veg year round.

I go through shit loads of Basil and make my own pesto so I'm thinking about knocking up a little tent in the loft just for herbs.

tip top toker said:
Would you pay £16 for a seafood linguini that is just pasta with a sauce and some "sea fruits", that is to say some of that rubbish you can buy in the supermarkets for a couple of quid, the packs with the cooked mussels, prawns, squid, and yup, "crab" sticks. £16 for pasta and crab sticks. lmao.

Only if it was fresh pasta and fresh seafood with real crab, even then £16 is bloody steep!

shawnybizzle · May 5, 2013

Right joint done...time to pick up dog shit and now the lawn ahhhhh the joys of life

tip top toker · May 5, 2013

The Yorkshireman said:
Basil is extremely sensitive to cold so it'll be a couple of months yet before it'll survive outside due to the late frost we've had.

I bring seedlings on in cut down Wilma pots on my window sill then in the tent with the ganja when they have a couple of leaves but you can stick it in a cupboard under a CFL and it'll do better than outside.

Basil loves full sun and warmth so it's perfect for chucking in the tent, if it starts to put out white flowers at the tips just nip em off before they develop properly and it'll stop the plant from pollinating its self so they can veg year round.

I go through shit loads of Basil and make my own pesto so I'm thinking about knocking up a little tent in the loft just for herbs.

Only if it was fresh pasta and fresh seafood with real crab, even then £16 is bloody steep!

Yeah, no frost down here but just a bit too nippy at night me thinks. Kept the rest of em in the kitchen window sill for the time being.

I ind that with most herbs, you buy a bag for a quid, and a recipe sais add a spoonfull, hell, i end up using half the bag. Get's expensive.

Nope, tesco dried pasta and precooked seafood preserved in brine. Yummy! :/

Furry mouth

Stupid wine.

The Yorkshireman · May 5, 2013

tip top toker said:
Nope, tesco dried pasta

So it's owned by an idiot who doesn't know business let alone food then? His profit margin is obviously shite that's why he has to charge £16 for seafood pasta.

There is absolutely no excuse these days for serving dried packet pasta in a restaurant, fresh pasta is cheaper to make than buying poor quality dried and the pasta machine to make it with is tax deductable ffs! I could make enough pasta to last a week at 100 covers a night in a few hours.

Antonio Carluccio's restaurant (Leeds) sells seafood linguine for £10.95 and it's all fresh, the price for the same dish at the Bond Street venue in London is only £1 more!

indikat · May 5, 2013

The Yorkshireman said:
So it's owned by an idiot who doesn't know business let alone food then? His profit margin is obviously shite that's why he has to charge £16 for seafood pasta.

There is absolutely no excuse these days for serving dried packet pasta in a restaurant, fresh pasta is cheaper to make than buying poor quality dried and the pasta machine to make it with is tax deductable ffs! I could make enough pasta to last a week at 100 covers a night in a few hours.

Antonio Carluccio's restaurant (Leeds) sells seafood linguine for £10.95 and it's all fresh, the price for the same dish at the Bond Street venue in London is only £1 more!

only tourists eat ther urs mus be bttr, seafood linguini is flour egg salt sea insects and processed cows milk double fukin yuk cost bout quid ta make fer 6

tip top toker · May 5, 2013

The Yorkshireman said:
So it's owned by an idiot who doesn't know business let alone food then? His profit margin is obviously shite that's why he has to charge £16 for seafood pasta.

There is absolutely no excuse these days for serving dried packet pasta in a restaurant, fresh pasta is cheaper to make than buying poor quality dried and the pasta machine to make it with is tax deductable ffs! I could make enough pasta to last a week at 100 covers a night in a few hours.

Antonio Carluccio's restaurant (Leeds) sells seafood linguine for £10.95 and it's all fresh, the price for the same dish at the Bond Street venue in London is only £1 more!

He is absolutely clueless. Basically the head chef trained for 15 years under a michelin star chef in a french restaurant, and is not allowed to cook a thing he wants. The landlord and his parter come up with all their inspirational dishes. Before i left a few months back, the two of them tried to force me and the chef to cook up a "spring" vegetarian starter or assorted vegetables deep fried in heavy beer batter. At that point we had to tell him to go and get fucked.

As you say, if you put in the effort, amazing pasta is easy as hell to make, and if you make it good, you don't have to serve very much of it. It's all about time and money for him. He does not want to hire staff because that means paying money out, so instead he cuts corners in the kitchen so he can get by with as few staff as possible. Another example is that they have a great big stone wood fired pizza oven. This became too time consuming for his liking so he bought one of these shitty electric pizza ovens, this became too time consuming so he ordered the chef to pre-cook the pizza bases... so you basically end up with a cracker, that you chuck the toppings on, that then goes soggy in the oven when cooked, and as it cools, dry. This then became too expensive for his liking in terms of turning the pizza oven on so now he just insists they cook it in the convection oven, not eevn with a pizza stone, just a baking tray. The owner is not involved, it's just his personal restaurant because his trophy wife can't cook a turd, so he just hired the landlord to run it, and made him a minority shareholder. As such every inch of profit he can make by screwing over the staff and customers, means a slightly bigger profit on his shares etc. So he thinks. He doesn't think long term.

I wa sous chef, i quit, they hired in another guy, he just stopped showing up, so now it's a 100 cover "fine eating" restaurant with a head chef and 2 teenage apprentices in the kitchen. The landlord recently told one of the apprentices she needs to lose weight so she is leaving next week, meaning they now have a 1st year college apprentice and a head chef. Funny as fuck, and they can't hire any more chefs in because he refuses to pay anything but minimum wage. With me, he put me on a £1k a month salary as the sous chef... and then genuinely believed that this meant he could make me work 60 hour weeks and minimum wage rules no longer applied. Learn english employment law before opening a business you fat portugeuse fuck.

Wow. Long.. My bad. I get a bit worked up when i see the head chef being fucked over so badly. The guy is the landlords brother ffs and he's treated like a fucking fast food employee.

The2TimEr · May 5, 2013

sounds like ramsay needs to do a kitchen nightmares episode on that joint lol

The Yorkshireman · May 5, 2013

indikat said:
only tourists eat ther urs mus be bttr, seafood linguini is flour egg salt sea insects and processed cows milk double fukin yuk cost bout quid ta make fer 6

Sorry mate I'm not sure what you're trying to imply with that statement, only tourists eat there so it must be crap?

All Carluccio's restaurants produce fresh dishes and they all ways have, even Carluccio's packet pasta sold on the website is exactly the same pasta you get at the restaurants. It's made fresh in house then slow dried and sold, simple.

I would want my sea food flashed in white wine, herbs, garlic possibly toms and maybe some finely sliced shallots.
There's certainly no milk in it and if you can make 6 portions for even £5 you should open a restaurant!

tip top toker · May 5, 2013

The Yorkshireman said:
Sorry mate I'm not sure what you're trying to imply with that statement, only tourists eat there so it must be crap?

All Carluccio's restaurants produce fresh dishes and they all ways have, even Carluccio's packet pasta sold on the website is exactly the same pasta you get at the restaurants. It's made fresh in house then slow dried and sold, simple.

I would want my sea food flashed in white wine, herbs, garlic possibly toms and maybe some finely sliced shallots.
There's certainly no milk or egg in it and if you can make 6 portions for even £5 you should open a restaurant!

Have to agree, 6 portions for a seafood linguini is gonna cost a fair bit unless you're doing as the place does and using shit ingredient. the prawns alone would set me back 32.50, and that's half price. then you gotta buy a bit of squid, some live clams, some live mussels, brandy, white wine. If i'm gonna cook up something as tasty as seafood linguini i want to do it properly!

The Yorkshireman · May 5, 2013

tip top toker said:
He is absolutely clueless. Basically the head chef trained for 15 years under a michelin star chef in a french restaurant, and is not allowed to cook a thing he wants. The landlord and his parter come up with all their inspirational dishes. Before i left a few months back, the two of them tried to force me and the chef to cook up a "spring" vegetarian starter or assorted vegetables deep fried in heavy beer batter. At that point we had to tell him to go and get fucked.

Fuck me even Toby Carvery does better than that!

And the rest speaks for its self, lol.

tip top toker · May 5, 2013

The Yorkshireman said:
Fuck me even Toby Carvery does better than that!

And the rest speaks for its self, lol.

Yup, ironically when he started he said he didn't want to be a 200 cover £5 a course wham bang thankyou mam kind of place. reality he is exactly that except he charges £15-29 a course. Some of the starters are £22 a piece. One of em being smoked salmon cooked in scrambled egg and popped in an empty egg shell with some fake caviar on top (the "avruga" crap, formed smoked herring)

Why i'm so glad to be cooking at home. Parents pay for ingredients, and i just cook us up whatever i really fancy concocting. No skimping on ingredients. Lunch today is gonna be a pizza with olives anchovies and a fried egg and then for dinner i'm going to cook up some shell on tiger prawns in butter, garlic, tomato, paprika, saffron, chilli, basil, whatever looks fresh and smells great

The Yorkshireman · May 5, 2013

tip top toker said:
Yup, ironically when he started he said he didn't want to be a 200 cover £5 a course wham bang thankyou mam kind of place. reality he is exactly that except he charges £15-29 a course. Some of the starters are £22 a piece. One of em being smoked salmon cooked in scrambled egg and popped in an empty egg shell with some fake caviar on top (the "avruga" crap, formed smoked herring)

.......... :wall:

........... :dunce:

If it says 'caviar' on the menu I'd have his pants down over that!

tip top toker · May 5, 2013

The Yorkshireman said:
.....................

If it says 'caviar' on the menu I'd have his pants down over that!

as i say, he doesn't understand english business law. He doesn't understand the notion of false advertising. Sells frozen trawler caught atlantic scallops as diver caught king scallops, sells tinned indonesian crab meat as cornish, sells peruvian asparagus as english, on the menu introduction he states that everything is organic and locally when there is not one organic product in the entire kitchen. The guy is a fraud. He was selling fillets with the option of a cianti sauce, or a poivre sauce made with cognac, 1. there is no cianti, it's just alcohol free cooking wine, and when i i told him i was confused as there was no cognac in the kitchen, he laughed and said brandy is cognac. Other way around dipshit. Fucking muppet. Lie to your customers if you want but don't ever try taking your chef for a fool.

Hell, he still markets the pizzas as being cooked in an authentic italian wood fired oven. Huge massive sign in the carpark, just took out a full page ad in a local magazine with a photo of the oven in action that must be years odl.