scotland newcastle liverpool yorkshire manchester jesus you pretty much covered most on england with that one line lol
lol actually you got it in 5
Yorkshire (well, part of it).
Is it just me or has English rain shrunk? The raindrops themselves, I mean. I'm sure they never used to be so sneaky, halfhearted and irritatingly tiny. I have many fond memories of getting soaking wet in the rain - luckily for me I love rain - not merely coated in a thin film of damp.
OK, my brief hibernation resolved one burning question in my mind: what happened to England in my absence? Answer: It can only be the EU. England stinks of EU regulations. Everything annoying about England seems to be traceable back to some EU regulation or other (apart from the rain, but then again, who knows? Maybe the EU ruled that big fat raindrops are a waste of water or bad for driving visibility or discriminatory in some way, and demanded that England shrank their raindrops).
England used to be gloriously, defiantly, vibrantly eccentric. Eccentric and unique and illogical and did not care what the rest of the world thought. Also, England used to be the opposite of standardized. Each village, each town, each individual pub was utterly unique. Now I have to constantly check my sat nav to confirm that I have indeed reached a different county/ region, and haven't been stuck on the automotive equivalent of a treadmill or hamster wheel for the past 4 hours.
Hey, one thing the EU didn't manage to eradicate - the English Apology Reflex. I nearly burst into nostalgic tears the other day when I accidentally barged into somebody grappling with their shopping, and before I had time to even open my mouth to apologize, the victim had already jumped in with the sincerest and most heartfelt of apologies. Awww.