Just couldn't do it, huh?
You realize of course that you need me. You're lost without Abe, like Batman with no Joker. As a self-proclaimed narcissist, I'll be your Abe, honey. Just keep needing me.
Let's just not talk. I know how this ends. We will fight like cats and dogs until that one day something really fucked up happens like your cat gets backed over by a steamroller. I'll message you an uncharacteristically sympathetic consolation after which you'll start crying and fly me to CA and we'll have sex.
I told you, I'm never coming back to LA. Unless you buy me sushi.