What did you accomplish today?

Couch_Lock said:

Also have back issues, Raratt. 29 yrs of blacktop work has affected me a lot. It disabled me.

Click to expand...

Lpena007 said:

Made my girl cum lol

Click to expand...

Mitchician said:

Hi everybody, this is just an update on my situation and a genuine apology for my behaviour on this site.
I don't expect forgiveness or to be accepted back here now that I have realised what I've done.
Some of you may not think I've done too much wrong, but I now realise that many of the things I've said and posted about have been ridiculously overzealous, rude, insensitive, and maybe even racist. I broke many boundaries while showing an utter lack of respect for many things, including the history of The United States in particular. I'm so very sorry. From the bottom of my heart.

I used Japanese words with no thought for their history with the US, and didn't even 'click' when I saw pictures on here that should have made me realise what I had done. I have little sense of patriotism and have blocked out many things that cause me mental distress. I occasionally use a few Japanese words in daily speech because I studied Karate for a short time, and while I was doing so, learned a tiny bit of their language. It occurred to me at the time that Karate became quite popular around the world, especially the United States, during the 80's and early 90's. Maybe because this was in my mind, I underestimated the underlying pain still lingering from war times. I also have very little knowledge of history in general.

I posted a recipe for "Afghan" biscuits. I was only thinking of their land race strains and their relevance to this site, nothing more.
I see now how that was completely insensitive.

I'm so sorry, especially to any war veterans in here, who were offended by anything at all that I've posted in my time here.

I acted like a creep to LG and posted pics in her thread without permission. Sorry LG, it was my lousy attempt at making friends.
I wasn't trying to 'woo' a beautiful woman from halfway across the world who's already taken and will always be completely out of my league even when I have sorted my life out. All posts were in good spirits, and I hope you're well and have a happy and successful life.

I didn't support jerryb when his house got broken into, even after he told me personally about that and other stressful things happening with him and his family. I was so low at that point I didn't know if what I said, would sound like it was coming from an honest place or not. I thank you dearly for your support Jerry, even at a time of such pain for you. I want to wish you and your loved ones all the best.

If it looks like I was trying to gain attention for the bush fires, I really hope it didn't look like that and it truly breaks my heart to see so much destruction and was only trying to show support for our friends over there.

I talked about my Indian friends down the road in an insensitive manner, and pretended like I'm some kind of growing sage.
The truth is I'm just a novice in far more areas other than growing and was trying to get attention and praise because of my codependency.

I posted many full sized pictures in many peoples threads including this one, about things that weren't even interesting or accomplishments.

I posted things that had some kind of underlying hidden message, trying to look all clever or something. Don't even know what that was all about.

I acted like I was some kind of hero out to save the planet. Now I realise what I was doing. 'Virtue signalling'.

I was insensitive about a friend's admission of their bipolar disorder, and mental health disorders in general. I also failed to see the irony.
I apologise to anyone on this forum who suffers from any mental distress and feels I hurt them in any way.

I expected empathy but offered not a lot to others when they needed it.

I spoke with far more cuss words than I usually do just to try to fit into a certain unruly mob (of bloody good people).

I probably ruined a lot of threads with my pessimism, arrogance, and generally disrespectful attitude.

I had a complete disaster in a certain thread in The Black Briefcase section. That was rock bottom. I was completely gone.
I hope you all believe me when I say it wasn't intentional, but pure ignorance that I displayed, not only in that post, but many others too.

Any and all abusive posts openly or discretely aimed at me were most probably well deserved.
I was/am still sick but that's no excuse, and you all had every right to be mad at me for the things I said and did.

I want to extend my gratitude to any and all members who recognised I wasn't well and defended me when others probably hated my guts.
I also want to thank all you wonderful people who personally offered to 'lend an ear' if I needed it, that really means a lot.

I failed to thank all the staff working behind the scenes who all contribute to keeping this place alive and well.
Thank you all so much for your work.

Over the last few days I've been getting some really good help with my problems and also doing tons of exercise and eating very little and very modest foods while smoking much less herb. I've decided to ditch my outdoor plants until if/when we go legal and also plan to shut my closet grow down for a while too while trying to taper off completely for a much needed tolerance break.

Finally, I apologise (especially to the cellphone users) for such a long post, but I feel like everything I wrote needed to be said.
I put it in here because I feel like it's where it belongs. My accomplishment today is starting to recover my true self and making a real apology.
I won't be making a return here any time soon, as I'm trying to focus on recovery and self discipline, and being on here is likely to distract me from my goals. I'm also extremely embarrassed. Thank you all for this lesson. I really needed it.

Click to expand...

GreatwhiteNorth said:

Yeah, I do that when I clean mine as well cause I personally don't look forward to packing 5800 lbs (70 gallons) one bucket at a time.


View attachment 4461131

Click to expand...

DustyDuke said:

Bloody kiwis lol. Go build some damn scaffold sit the hell down and chill the fuck out.

Click to expand...

Metasynth said:

This may be part of his 12 step program, making amends for his earlier transgressions in life.

Click to expand...

DustyDuke said:

Bloody kiwis lol. Go build some damn scaffold sit the hell down and chill the fuck out.

Click to expand...

Mitchician said:

Hi everybody, this is just an update on my situation and a genuine apology for my behaviour on this site.
I don't expect forgiveness or to be accepted back here now that I have realised what I've done.
Some of you may not think I've done too much wrong, but I now realise that many of the things I've said and posted about have been ridiculously overzealous, rude, insensitive, and maybe even racist. I broke many boundaries while showing an utter lack of respect for many things, including the history of The United States in particular. I'm so very sorry. From the bottom of my heart.

I used Japanese words with no thought for their history with the US, and didn't even 'click' when I saw pictures on here that should have made me realise what I had done. I have little sense of patriotism and have blocked out many things that cause me mental distress. I occasionally use a few Japanese words in daily speech because I studied Karate for a short time, and while I was doing so, learned a tiny bit of their language. It occurred to me at the time that Karate became quite popular around the world, especially the United States, during the 80's and early 90's. Maybe because this was in my mind, I underestimated the underlying pain still lingering from war times. I also have very little knowledge of history in general.

I posted a recipe for "Afghan" biscuits. I was only thinking of their land race strains and their relevance to this site, nothing more.
I see now how that was completely insensitive.

I'm so sorry, especially to any war veterans in here, who were offended by anything at all that I've posted in my time here.

I acted like a creep to LG and posted pics in her thread without permission. Sorry LG, it was my lousy attempt at making friends.
I wasn't trying to 'woo' a beautiful woman from halfway across the world who's already taken and will always be completely out of my league even when I have sorted my life out. All posts were in good spirits, and I hope you're well and have a happy and successful life.

I didn't support jerryb when his house got broken into, even after he told me personally about that and other stressful things happening with him and his family. I was so low at that point I didn't know if what I said, would sound like it was coming from an honest place or not. I thank you dearly for your support Jerry, even at a time of such pain for you. I want to wish you and your loved ones all the best.

If it looks like I was trying to gain attention for the bush fires, I really hope it didn't look like that and it truly breaks my heart to see so much destruction and was only trying to show support for our friends over there.

I talked about my Indian friends down the road in an insensitive manner, and pretended like I'm some kind of growing sage.
The truth is I'm just a novice in far more areas other than growing and was trying to get attention and praise because of my codependency.

I posted many full sized pictures in many peoples threads including this one, about things that weren't even interesting or accomplishments.

I posted things that had some kind of underlying hidden message, trying to look all clever or something. Don't even know what that was all about.

I acted like I was some kind of hero out to save the planet. Now I realise what I was doing. 'Virtue signalling'.

I was insensitive about a friend's admission of their bipolar disorder, and mental health disorders in general. I also failed to see the irony.
I apologise to anyone on this forum who suffers from any mental distress and feels I hurt them in any way.

I expected empathy but offered not a lot to others when they needed it.

I spoke with far more cuss words than I usually do just to try to fit into a certain unruly mob (of bloody good people).

I probably ruined a lot of threads with my pessimism, arrogance, and generally disrespectful attitude.

I had a complete disaster in a certain thread in The Black Briefcase section. That was rock bottom. I was completely gone.
I hope you all believe me when I say it wasn't intentional, but pure ignorance that I displayed, not only in that post, but many others too.

Any and all abusive posts openly or discretely aimed at me were most probably well deserved.
I was/am still sick but that's no excuse, and you all had every right to be mad at me for the things I said and did.

I want to extend my gratitude to any and all members who recognised I wasn't well and defended me when others probably hated my guts.
I also want to thank all you wonderful people who personally offered to 'lend an ear' if I needed it, that really means a lot.

I failed to thank all the staff working behind the scenes who all contribute to keeping this place alive and well.
Thank you all so much for your work.

Over the last few days I've been getting some really good help with my problems and also doing tons of exercise and eating very little and very modest foods while smoking much less herb. I've decided to ditch my outdoor plants until if/when we go legal and also plan to shut my closet grow down for a while too while trying to taper off completely for a much needed tolerance break.

Finally, I apologise (especially to the cellphone users) for such a long post, but I feel like everything I wrote needed to be said.
I put it in here because I feel like it's where it belongs. My accomplishment today is starting to recover my true self and making a real apology.
I won't be making a return here any time soon, as I'm trying to focus on recovery and self discipline, and being on here is likely to distract me from my goals. I'm also extremely embarrassed. Thank you all for this lesson. I really needed it.

Click to expand...

Metasynth said:

I think 5800 lbs would be over 700 gallons. A 70 gallon tank, including gravel and decorations shouldn’t weigh much over 600lbs. The water weight of 70 gallons of just water is about 560 lbs, but the gravel and decorations weigh a little more.

Still, a lot of weight to lug one bucket at a time

Click to expand...

Mitchician said:

Hi everybody, this is just an update on my situation and a genuine apology for my behaviour on this site.
I don't expect forgiveness or to be accepted back here now that I have realised what I've done.
Some of you may not think I've done too much wrong, but I now realise that many of the things I've said and posted about have been ridiculously overzealous, rude, insensitive, and maybe even racist. I broke many boundaries while showing an utter lack of respect for many things, including the history of The United States in particular. I'm so very sorry. From the bottom of my heart.

I used Japanese words with no thought for their history with the US, and didn't even 'click' when I saw pictures on here that should have made me realise what I had done. I have little sense of patriotism and have blocked out many things that cause me mental distress. I occasionally use a few Japanese words in daily speech because I studied Karate for a short time, and while I was doing so, learned a tiny bit of their language. It occurred to me at the time that Karate became quite popular around the world, especially the United States, during the 80's and early 90's. Maybe because this was in my mind, I underestimated the underlying pain still lingering from war times. I also have very little knowledge of history in general.

I posted a recipe for "Afghan" biscuits. I was only thinking of their land race strains and their relevance to this site, nothing more.
I see now how that was completely insensitive.

I'm so sorry, especially to any war veterans in here, who were offended by anything at all that I've posted in my time here.

I acted like a creep to LG and posted pics in her thread without permission. Sorry LG, it was my lousy attempt at making friends.
I wasn't trying to 'woo' a beautiful woman from halfway across the world who's already taken and will always be completely out of my league even when I have sorted my life out. All posts were in good spirits, and I hope you're well and have a happy and successful life.

I didn't support jerryb when his house got broken into, even after he told me personally about that and other stressful things happening with him and his family. I was so low at that point I didn't know if what I said, would sound like it was coming from an honest place or not. I thank you dearly for your support Jerry, even at a time of such pain for you. I want to wish you and your loved ones all the best.

If it looks like I was trying to gain attention for the bush fires, I really hope it didn't look like that and it truly breaks my heart to see so much destruction and was only trying to show support for our friends over there.

I talked about my Indian friends down the road in an insensitive manner, and pretended like I'm some kind of growing sage.
The truth is I'm just a novice in far more areas other than growing and was trying to get attention and praise because of my codependency.

I posted many full sized pictures in many peoples threads including this one, about things that weren't even interesting or accomplishments.

I posted things that had some kind of underlying hidden message, trying to look all clever or something. Don't even know what that was all about.

I acted like I was some kind of hero out to save the planet. Now I realise what I was doing. 'Virtue signalling'.

I was insensitive about a friend's admission of their bipolar disorder, and mental health disorders in general. I also failed to see the irony.
I apologise to anyone on this forum who suffers from any mental distress and feels I hurt them in any way.

I expected empathy but offered not a lot to others when they needed it.

I spoke with far more cuss words than I usually do just to try to fit into a certain unruly mob (of bloody good people).

I probably ruined a lot of threads with my pessimism, arrogance, and generally disrespectful attitude.

I had a complete disaster in a certain thread in The Black Briefcase section. That was rock bottom. I was completely gone.
I hope you all believe me when I say it wasn't intentional, but pure ignorance that I displayed, not only in that post, but many others too.

Any and all abusive posts openly or discretely aimed at me were most probably well deserved.
I was/am still sick but that's no excuse, and you all had every right to be mad at me for the things I said and did.

I want to extend my gratitude to any and all members who recognised I wasn't well and defended me when others probably hated my guts.
I also want to thank all you wonderful people who personally offered to 'lend an ear' if I needed it, that really means a lot.

I failed to thank all the staff working behind the scenes who all contribute to keeping this place alive and well.
Thank you all so much for your work.

Over the last few days I've been getting some really good help with my problems and also doing tons of exercise and eating very little and very modest foods while smoking much less herb. I've decided to ditch my outdoor plants until if/when we go legal and also plan to shut my closet grow down for a while too while trying to taper off completely for a much needed tolerance break.

Finally, I apologise (especially to the cellphone users) for such a long post, but I feel like everything I wrote needed to be said.
I put it in here because I feel like it's where it belongs. My accomplishment today is starting to recover my true self and making a real apology.
I won't be making a return here any time soon, as I'm trying to focus on recovery and self discipline, and being on here is likely to distract me from my goals. I'm also extremely embarrassed. Thank you all for this lesson. I really needed it.

Click to expand...

Mitchician said:

Hi everybody, this is just an update on my situation and a genuine apology for my behaviour on this site.
I don't expect forgiveness or to be accepted back here now that I have realised what I've done.
Some of you may not think I've done too much wrong, but I now realise that many of the things I've said and posted about have been ridiculously overzealous, rude, insensitive, and maybe even racist. I broke many boundaries while showing an utter lack of respect for many things, including the history of The United States in particular. I'm so very sorry. From the bottom of my heart.

I used Japanese words with no thought for their history with the US, and didn't even 'click' when I saw pictures on here that should have made me realise what I had done. I have little sense of patriotism and have blocked out many things that cause me mental distress. I occasionally use a few Japanese words in daily speech because I studied Karate for a short time, and while I was doing so, learned a tiny bit of their language. It occurred to me at the time that Karate became quite popular around the world, especially the United States, during the 80's and early 90's. Maybe because this was in my mind, I underestimated the underlying pain still lingering from war times. I also have very little knowledge of history in general.

I posted a recipe for "Afghan" biscuits. I was only thinking of their land race strains and their relevance to this site, nothing more.
I see now how that was completely insensitive.

I'm so sorry, especially to any war veterans in here, who were offended by anything at all that I've posted in my time here.

I acted like a creep to LG and posted pics in her thread without permission. Sorry LG, it was my lousy attempt at making friends.
I wasn't trying to 'woo' a beautiful woman from halfway across the world who's already taken and will always be completely out of my league even when I have sorted my life out. All posts were in good spirits, and I hope you're well and have a happy and successful life.

I didn't support jerryb when his house got broken into, even after he told me personally about that and other stressful things happening with him and his family. I was so low at that point I didn't know if what I said, would sound like it was coming from an honest place or not. I thank you dearly for your support Jerry, even at a time of such pain for you. I want to wish you and your loved ones all the best.

If it looks like I was trying to gain attention for the bush fires, I really hope it didn't look like that and it truly breaks my heart to see so much destruction and was only trying to show support for our friends over there.

I talked about my Indian friends down the road in an insensitive manner, and pretended like I'm some kind of growing sage.
The truth is I'm just a novice in far more areas other than growing and was trying to get attention and praise because of my codependency.

I posted many full sized pictures in many peoples threads including this one, about things that weren't even interesting or accomplishments.

I posted things that had some kind of underlying hidden message, trying to look all clever or something. Don't even know what that was all about.

I acted like I was some kind of hero out to save the planet. Now I realise what I was doing. 'Virtue signalling'.

I was insensitive about a friend's admission of their bipolar disorder, and mental health disorders in general. I also failed to see the irony.
I apologise to anyone on this forum who suffers from any mental distress and feels I hurt them in any way.

I expected empathy but offered not a lot to others when they needed it.

I spoke with far more cuss words than I usually do just to try to fit into a certain unruly mob (of bloody good people).

I probably ruined a lot of threads with my pessimism, arrogance, and generally disrespectful attitude.

I had a complete disaster in a certain thread in The Black Briefcase section. That was rock bottom. I was completely gone.
I hope you all believe me when I say it wasn't intentional, but pure ignorance that I displayed, not only in that post, but many others too.

Any and all abusive posts openly or discretely aimed at me were most probably well deserved.
I was/am still sick but that's no excuse, and you all had every right to be mad at me for the things I said and did.

I want to extend my gratitude to any and all members who recognised I wasn't well and defended me when others probably hated my guts.
I also want to thank all you wonderful people who personally offered to 'lend an ear' if I needed it, that really means a lot.

I failed to thank all the staff working behind the scenes who all contribute to keeping this place alive and well.
Thank you all so much for your work.

Over the last few days I've been getting some really good help with my problems and also doing tons of exercise and eating very little and very modest foods while smoking much less herb. I've decided to ditch my outdoor plants until if/when we go legal and also plan to shut my closet grow down for a while too while trying to taper off completely for a much needed tolerance break.

Finally, I apologise (especially to the cellphone users) for such a long post, but I feel like everything I wrote needed to be said.
I put it in here because I feel like it's where it belongs. My accomplishment today is starting to recover my true self and making a real apology.
I won't be making a return here any time soon, as I'm trying to focus on recovery and self discipline, and being on here is likely to distract me from my goals. I'm also extremely embarrassed. Thank you all for this lesson. I really needed it.

Click to expand...

Mitchician said:

Hi everybody, this is just an update on my situation and a genuine apology for my behaviour on this site.
I don't expect forgiveness or to be accepted back here now that I have realised what I've done.
Some of you may not think I've done too much wrong, but I now realise that many of the things I've said and posted about have been ridiculously overzealous, rude, insensitive, and maybe even racist. I broke many boundaries while showing an utter lack of respect for many things, including the history of The United States in particular. I'm so very sorry. From the bottom of my heart.

I used Japanese words with no thought for their history with the US, and didn't even 'click' when I saw pictures on here that should have made me realise what I had done. I have little sense of patriotism and have blocked out many things that cause me mental distress. I occasionally use a few Japanese words in daily speech because I studied Karate for a short time, and while I was doing so, learned a tiny bit of their language. It occurred to me at the time that Karate became quite popular around the world, especially the United States, during the 80's and early 90's. Maybe because this was in my mind, I underestimated the underlying pain still lingering from war times. I also have very little knowledge of history in general.

I posted a recipe for "Afghan" biscuits. I was only thinking of their land race strains and their relevance to this site, nothing more.
I see now how that was completely insensitive.

I'm so sorry, especially to any war veterans in here, who were offended by anything at all that I've posted in my time here.

I acted like a creep to LG and posted pics in her thread without permission. Sorry LG, it was my lousy attempt at making friends.
I wasn't trying to 'woo' a beautiful woman from halfway across the world who's already taken and will always be completely out of my league even when I have sorted my life out. All posts were in good spirits, and I hope you're well and have a happy and successful life.

I didn't support jerryb when his house got broken into, even after he told me personally about that and other stressful things happening with him and his family. I was so low at that point I didn't know if what I said, would sound like it was coming from an honest place or not. I thank you dearly for your support Jerry, even at a time of such pain for you. I want to wish you and your loved ones all the best.

If it looks like I was trying to gain attention for the bush fires, I really hope it didn't look like that and it truly breaks my heart to see so much destruction and was only trying to show support for our friends over there.

I talked about my Indian friends down the road in an insensitive manner, and pretended like I'm some kind of growing sage.
The truth is I'm just a novice in far more areas other than growing and was trying to get attention and praise because of my codependency.

I posted many full sized pictures in many peoples threads including this one, about things that weren't even interesting or accomplishments.

I posted things that had some kind of underlying hidden message, trying to look all clever or something. Don't even know what that was all about.

I acted like I was some kind of hero out to save the planet. Now I realise what I was doing. 'Virtue signalling'.

I was insensitive about a friend's admission of their bipolar disorder, and mental health disorders in general. I also failed to see the irony.
I apologise to anyone on this forum who suffers from any mental distress and feels I hurt them in any way.

I expected empathy but offered not a lot to others when they needed it.

I spoke with far more cuss words than I usually do just to try to fit into a certain unruly mob (of bloody good people).

I probably ruined a lot of threads with my pessimism, arrogance, and generally disrespectful attitude.

I had a complete disaster in a certain thread in The Black Briefcase section. That was rock bottom. I was completely gone.
I hope you all believe me when I say it wasn't intentional, but pure ignorance that I displayed, not only in that post, but many others too.

Any and all abusive posts openly or discretely aimed at me were most probably well deserved.
I was/am still sick but that's no excuse, and you all had every right to be mad at me for the things I said and did.

I want to extend my gratitude to any and all members who recognised I wasn't well and defended me when others probably hated my guts.
I also want to thank all you wonderful people who personally offered to 'lend an ear' if I needed it, that really means a lot.

I failed to thank all the staff working behind the scenes who all contribute to keeping this place alive and well.
Thank you all so much for your work.

Over the last few days I've been getting some really good help with my problems and also doing tons of exercise and eating very little and very modest foods while smoking much less herb. I've decided to ditch my outdoor plants until if/when we go legal and also plan to shut my closet grow down for a while too while trying to taper off completely for a much needed tolerance break.

Finally, I apologise (especially to the cellphone users) for such a long post, but I feel like everything I wrote needed to be said.
I put it in here because I feel like it's where it belongs. My accomplishment today is starting to recover my true self and making a real apology.
I won't be making a return here any time soon, as I'm trying to focus on recovery and self discipline, and being on here is likely to distract me from my goals. I'm also extremely embarrassed. Thank you all for this lesson. I really needed it.

Click to expand...

Mitchician said:

Hi everybody, this is just an update on my situation and a genuine apology for my behaviour on this site.
I don't expect forgiveness or to be accepted back here now that I have realised what I've done.
Some of you may not think I've done too much wrong, but I now realise that many of the things I've said and posted about have been ridiculously overzealous, rude, insensitive, and maybe even racist. I broke many boundaries while showing an utter lack of respect for many things, including the history of The United States in particular. I'm so very sorry. From the bottom of my heart.

I used Japanese words with no thought for their history with the US, and didn't even 'click' when I saw pictures on here that should have made me realise what I had done. I have little sense of patriotism and have blocked out many things that cause me mental distress. I occasionally use a few Japanese words in daily speech because I studied Karate for a short time, and while I was doing so, learned a tiny bit of their language. It occurred to me at the time that Karate became quite popular around the world, especially the United States, during the 80's and early 90's. Maybe because this was in my mind, I underestimated the underlying pain still lingering from war times. I also have very little knowledge of history in general.

I posted a recipe for "Afghan" biscuits. I was only thinking of their land race strains and their relevance to this site, nothing more.
I see now how that was completely insensitive.

I'm so sorry, especially to any war veterans in here, who were offended by anything at all that I've posted in my time here.

I acted like a creep to LG and posted pics in her thread without permission. Sorry LG, it was my lousy attempt at making friends.
I wasn't trying to 'woo' a beautiful woman from halfway across the world who's already taken and will always be completely out of my league even when I have sorted my life out. All posts were in good spirits, and I hope you're well and have a happy and successful life.

I didn't support jerryb when his house got broken into, even after he told me personally about that and other stressful things happening with him and his family. I was so low at that point I didn't know if what I said, would sound like it was coming from an honest place or not. I thank you dearly for your support Jerry, even at a time of such pain for you. I want to wish you and your loved ones all the best.

If it looks like I was trying to gain attention for the bush fires, I really hope it didn't look like that and it truly breaks my heart to see so much destruction and was only trying to show support for our friends over there.

I talked about my Indian friends down the road in an insensitive manner, and pretended like I'm some kind of growing sage.
The truth is I'm just a novice in far more areas other than growing and was trying to get attention and praise because of my codependency.

I posted many full sized pictures in many peoples threads including this one, about things that weren't even interesting or accomplishments.

I posted things that had some kind of underlying hidden message, trying to look all clever or something. Don't even know what that was all about.

I acted like I was some kind of hero out to save the planet. Now I realise what I was doing. 'Virtue signalling'.

I was insensitive about a friend's admission of their bipolar disorder, and mental health disorders in general. I also failed to see the irony.
I apologise to anyone on this forum who suffers from any mental distress and feels I hurt them in any way.

I expected empathy but offered not a lot to others when they needed it.

I spoke with far more cuss words than I usually do just to try to fit into a certain unruly mob (of bloody good people).

I probably ruined a lot of threads with my pessimism, arrogance, and generally disrespectful attitude.

I had a complete disaster in a certain thread in The Black Briefcase section. That was rock bottom. I was completely gone.
I hope you all believe me when I say it wasn't intentional, but pure ignorance that I displayed, not only in that post, but many others too.

Any and all abusive posts openly or discretely aimed at me were most probably well deserved.
I was/am still sick but that's no excuse, and you all had every right to be mad at me for the things I said and did.

I want to extend my gratitude to any and all members who recognised I wasn't well and defended me when others probably hated my guts.
I also want to thank all you wonderful people who personally offered to 'lend an ear' if I needed it, that really means a lot.

I failed to thank all the staff working behind the scenes who all contribute to keeping this place alive and well.
Thank you all so much for your work.

Over the last few days I've been getting some really good help with my problems and also doing tons of exercise and eating very little and very modest foods while smoking much less herb. I've decided to ditch my outdoor plants until if/when we go legal and also plan to shut my closet grow down for a while too while trying to taper off completely for a much needed tolerance break.

Finally, I apologise (especially to the cellphone users) for such a long post, but I feel like everything I wrote needed to be said.
I put it in here because I feel like it's where it belongs. My accomplishment today is starting to recover my true self and making a real apology.
I won't be making a return here any time soon, as I'm trying to focus on recovery and self discipline, and being on here is likely to distract me from my goals. I'm also extremely embarrassed. Thank you all for this lesson. I really needed it.

Click to expand...

Mitchician said:

Hi everybody, this is just an update on my situation and a genuine apology for my behaviour on this site.
I don't expect forgiveness or to be accepted back here now that I have realised what I've done.
Some of you may not think I've done too much wrong, but I now realise that many of the things I've said and posted about have been ridiculously overzealous, rude, insensitive, and maybe even racist. I broke many boundaries while showing an utter lack of respect for many things, including the history of The United States in particular. I'm so very sorry. From the bottom of my heart.

I used Japanese words with no thought for their history with the US, and didn't even 'click' when I saw pictures on here that should have made me realise what I had done. I have little sense of patriotism and have blocked out many things that cause me mental distress. I occasionally use a few Japanese words in daily speech because I studied Karate for a short time, and while I was doing so, learned a tiny bit of their language. It occurred to me at the time that Karate became quite popular around the world, especially the United States, during the 80's and early 90's. Maybe because this was in my mind, I underestimated the underlying pain still lingering from war times. I also have very little knowledge of history in general.

I posted a recipe for "Afghan" biscuits. I was only thinking of their land race strains and their relevance to this site, nothing more.
I see now how that was completely insensitive.

I'm so sorry, especially to any war veterans in here, who were offended by anything at all that I've posted in my time here.

I acted like a creep to LG and posted pics in her thread without permission. Sorry LG, it was my lousy attempt at making friends.
I wasn't trying to 'woo' a beautiful woman from halfway across the world who's already taken and will always be completely out of my league even when I have sorted my life out. All posts were in good spirits, and I hope you're well and have a happy and successful life.

I didn't support jerryb when his house got broken into, even after he told me personally about that and other stressful things happening with him and his family. I was so low at that point I didn't know if what I said, would sound like it was coming from an honest place or not. I thank you dearly for your support Jerry, even at a time of such pain for you. I want to wish you and your loved ones all the best.

If it looks like I was trying to gain attention for the bush fires, I really hope it didn't look like that and it truly breaks my heart to see so much destruction and was only trying to show support for our friends over there.

I talked about my Indian friends down the road in an insensitive manner, and pretended like I'm some kind of growing sage.
The truth is I'm just a novice in far more areas other than growing and was trying to get attention and praise because of my codependency.

I posted many full sized pictures in many peoples threads including this one, about things that weren't even interesting or accomplishments.

I posted things that had some kind of underlying hidden message, trying to look all clever or something. Don't even know what that was all about.

I acted like I was some kind of hero out to save the planet. Now I realise what I was doing. 'Virtue signalling'.

I was insensitive about a friend's admission of their bipolar disorder, and mental health disorders in general. I also failed to see the irony.
I apologise to anyone on this forum who suffers from any mental distress and feels I hurt them in any way.

I expected empathy but offered not a lot to others when they needed it.

I spoke with far more cuss words than I usually do just to try to fit into a certain unruly mob (of bloody good people).

I probably ruined a lot of threads with my pessimism, arrogance, and generally disrespectful attitude.

I had a complete disaster in a certain thread in The Black Briefcase section. That was rock bottom. I was completely gone.
I hope you all believe me when I say it wasn't intentional, but pure ignorance that I displayed, not only in that post, but many others too.

Any and all abusive posts openly or discretely aimed at me were most probably well deserved.
I was/am still sick but that's no excuse, and you all had every right to be mad at me for the things I said and did.

I want to extend my gratitude to any and all members who recognised I wasn't well and defended me when others probably hated my guts.
I also want to thank all you wonderful people who personally offered to 'lend an ear' if I needed it, that really means a lot.

I failed to thank all the staff working behind the scenes who all contribute to keeping this place alive and well.
Thank you all so much for your work.

Over the last few days I've been getting some really good help with my problems and also doing tons of exercise and eating very little and very modest foods while smoking much less herb. I've decided to ditch my outdoor plants until if/when we go legal and also plan to shut my closet grow down for a while too while trying to taper off completely for a much needed tolerance break.

Finally, I apologise (especially to the cellphone users) for such a long post, but I feel like everything I wrote needed to be said.
I put it in here because I feel like it's where it belongs. My accomplishment today is starting to recover my true self and making a real apology.
I won't be making a return here any time soon, as I'm trying to focus on recovery and self discipline, and being on here is likely to distract me from my goals. I'm also extremely embarrassed. Thank you all for this lesson. I really needed it.

Click to expand...

Mitchician said:

Hi everybody, this is just an update on my situation and a genuine apology for my behaviour on this site.
I don't expect forgiveness or to be accepted back here now that I have realised what I've done.
Some of you may not think I've done too much wrong, but I now realise that many of the things I've said and posted about have been ridiculously overzealous, rude, insensitive, and maybe even racist. I broke many boundaries while showing an utter lack of respect for many things, including the history of The United States in particular. I'm so very sorry. From the bottom of my heart.

I used Japanese words with no thought for their history with the US, and didn't even 'click' when I saw pictures on here that should have made me realise what I had done. I have little sense of patriotism and have blocked out many things that cause me mental distress. I occasionally use a few Japanese words in daily speech because I studied Karate for a short time, and while I was doing so, learned a tiny bit of their language. It occurred to me at the time that Karate became quite popular around the world, especially the United States, during the 80's and early 90's. Maybe because this was in my mind, I underestimated the underlying pain still lingering from war times. I also have very little knowledge of history in general.

I posted a recipe for "Afghan" biscuits. I was only thinking of their land race strains and their relevance to this site, nothing more.
I see now how that was completely insensitive.

I'm so sorry, especially to any war veterans in here, who were offended by anything at all that I've posted in my time here.

I acted like a creep to LG and posted pics in her thread without permission. Sorry LG, it was my lousy attempt at making friends.
I wasn't trying to 'woo' a beautiful woman from halfway across the world who's already taken and will always be completely out of my league even when I have sorted my life out. All posts were in good spirits, and I hope you're well and have a happy and successful life.

I didn't support jerryb when his house got broken into, even after he told me personally about that and other stressful things happening with him and his family. I was so low at that point I didn't know if what I said, would sound like it was coming from an honest place or not. I thank you dearly for your support Jerry, even at a time of such pain for you. I want to wish you and your loved ones all the best.

If it looks like I was trying to gain attention for the bush fires, I really hope it didn't look like that and it truly breaks my heart to see so much destruction and was only trying to show support for our friends over there.

I talked about my Indian friends down the road in an insensitive manner, and pretended like I'm some kind of growing sage.
The truth is I'm just a novice in far more areas other than growing and was trying to get attention and praise because of my codependency.

I posted many full sized pictures in many peoples threads including this one, about things that weren't even interesting or accomplishments.

I posted things that had some kind of underlying hidden message, trying to look all clever or something. Don't even know what that was all about.

I acted like I was some kind of hero out to save the planet. Now I realise what I was doing. 'Virtue signalling'.

I was insensitive about a friend's admission of their bipolar disorder, and mental health disorders in general. I also failed to see the irony.
I apologise to anyone on this forum who suffers from any mental distress and feels I hurt them in any way.

I expected empathy but offered not a lot to others when they needed it.

I spoke with far more cuss words than I usually do just to try to fit into a certain unruly mob (of bloody good people).

I probably ruined a lot of threads with my pessimism, arrogance, and generally disrespectful attitude.

I had a complete disaster in a certain thread in The Black Briefcase section. That was rock bottom. I was completely gone.
I hope you all believe me when I say it wasn't intentional, but pure ignorance that I displayed, not only in that post, but many others too.

Any and all abusive posts openly or discretely aimed at me were most probably well deserved.
I was/am still sick but that's no excuse, and you all had every right to be mad at me for the things I said and did.

I want to extend my gratitude to any and all members who recognised I wasn't well and defended me when others probably hated my guts.
I also want to thank all you wonderful people who personally offered to 'lend an ear' if I needed it, that really means a lot.

I failed to thank all the staff working behind the scenes who all contribute to keeping this place alive and well.
Thank you all so much for your work.

Over the last few days I've been getting some really good help with my problems and also doing tons of exercise and eating very little and very modest foods while smoking much less herb. I've decided to ditch my outdoor plants until if/when we go legal and also plan to shut my closet grow down for a while too while trying to taper off completely for a much needed tolerance break.

Finally, I apologise (especially to the cellphone users) for such a long post, but I feel like everything I wrote needed to be said.
I put it in here because I feel like it's where it belongs. My accomplishment today is starting to recover my true self and making a real apology.
I won't be making a return here any time soon, as I'm trying to focus on recovery and self discipline, and being on here is likely to distract me from my goals. I'm also extremely embarrassed. Thank you all for this lesson. I really needed it.

Click to expand...

raratt said:

View attachment 4461552

Another gray morning, at least it isn't foggy. Not predicted to get much rain today.
Looks like I need to swap some more water out of the fish tank, that's what I get for putting it off for so long. Mornin all.

Click to expand...