Perfect thread and timing.
If your gut hurts from eating too much crap and you need an easy flush, go out and buy a dragon fruit.
Eat it first thing in the morning and wash it down with some water, don't consume anything else.
In about an hour or and hour and a half it should flush put what ever gunk you have stuck in your intestines. You'll know it's the dragon fruit because your stool will look like it has chocolate chips all over from the seeds.
Now if you, excuse me. It's time to wipe. 2 ply only.