I Once.

[cincismoker]

theres a whole colony of them that live under a tree in my yard an they dont spook like other rabit ive actually pick you up b4. but he ran out infront of my riden mower an i culdnt stop i heard it hit him it was sick. but after a checked him out i jus circled a round an did it an didnt look back lol

 

[pandabear]

man i dont have time to type this out but here goes,

I once had a cat who had a litter of kittens. My buddy had come to visit and this guys is like a huge dude, with big floppy feet I always call him clown shoes

anyway clown shoes comes stomping into my room and steps dead full force on one of the little kittens!!!!

the kitten wreched in agony and broke its back and went unconcious but was still breathing very labored. We didt know what to do so I took the kitten outside and put it in the woods.


then we went to get some pizza with like 3 other people.

so sitting there at the pizza place we all had our minds on the poor little kittin.

we knew he was still alive and had to be put out of his misery.

one guy said, "someone must go and stab him in the heart with a knife!!"

I was like "what" I ain't stabbin him in the heart!!"

then eveyone had like all different ideas like one was to drown him but I thought that would be cruel.

My idea was to put him in a garbage bag and tie the top of the bag to the exhaust of my car and kill him with carbon monixide poisoning.

anyway no one could agree so we did nothing


well everyone had left an it was just me and my gurl getting ready to sleep but I couldnt sleep thinking what I let happen to that poor kitty.

I went outside hoping he would be dead by now.

he wasnt, we was alive still but there were all these huge flies all over him,

it was sooo sick so I brought him inside and laid him down in my closet.

well my sister caught wind of the incident the next day and was like "what!!!" where is it ill take him to the vet ASAP so I let her go get him from my house.

when she found the kitten it was still alive but it had like hundreds of maggots all crawling in and out of its nose and mouth. it was the most horrible thing soooo sooooo messed up and it was all my fault.

the vet just looked at that poor little guy and euthanised it immidiatly

 

[pandabear]

theres a whole colony of them that live under a tree in my yard an they dont spook like other rabit ive actually pick you up b4. but he ran out infront of my riden mower an i culdnt stop i heard it hit him it was sick. but after a checked him out i jus circled a round an did it an didnt look back lol

good soildier just do your dirty business and dont look back

 

[cincismoker]

awww man poor kitty. dont blame urself it was clown shoes!! but u should of just broke its neck immitly would u want to left to rot? an feel maggets crawlin in u

 

[mastakoosh]

Panda its funny how u posted that story about that kitten. Before u posted it i was thinking about posting my story about a kitten. One night i was driving home on an old country road and a small kitten about the size of my hand jumped right under my front tire. It made a horrible crunching sound. I drove a couple minutes and couldnt stand thinking what happened. I turned around and went back. He was in the middle of the road dragging himself along the blacktop with his two front paws. from his back to his back paws was smashed flat and dragging lifelessly across the road. I couldnt stand thinking of him laying suffering,so i ran him over again to finish him off. Im no pussy but i felt really bad. It seems liike i could do something bad to someone who pisses me off but i have a soft spot in my heart for animals.

 

[pandabear]

lolol sorry I know its not funny but damn lol you ran him over again to finish him off looooooooool

good thing you hit him on your first try it would look very weird if a cop pulled up while you are doing uturns and k-turns trying to finish off a poor little cat that was furuously trying to drag itself outa there


no i swear officer I was trying to help the little kitty

 

[000420]

Damn, the stories of those poor kittens almost made me cry........hard core , i can't stop thinking about the poor little things.

 

[pandabear]

sorry man, better for thier stories to come out than them be covered up forever


i didnt do it

 

[pandabear]

what about the bunnies birds and squirrel dont you car about them

 

[pandabear]

I once caught one of those huge fuzzy bumble bees in a small tupperware container when I was a little kid. He was alive and well in there. I took him to my front yard and buried him and the container he was in 2 feet into the ground and left him there.


4 years later........



4 years later when I was an older little boy, I somehow remebered about the bee and that I had buried alive 4 years prior.

I got the shovel and went to the spot where I had buried him 4 years before.

I found the tupperware container and slowly opened it up, and damned if im crazy the fucker flew right out!!!


Just kidding the thing was dead as a doornail I was hoping that it would just be a little bumble bee skelleton but it was just a real slimy bee body

 

[cincismoker]

i also have a messed up cat story. i once was helping a friend move an was sitin on the front pourch smokin a cigurete when i heard a loud ass boom an a scream from the house, so i ran inside an i seen a gruwsume scen of blood every were an buddy getting his face beat in my the chick who owened the house. well it turned out that they were moving a couch out an my buddie droped this sofa clean on her cats head. man im glad i didnt have to see that. but i figured out what happend an said fuck this im out an rolled right out the front door like nothin happend

 

[pandabear]

i also have a messed up cat story. i once was helping a friend move an was sitin on the front pourch smokin a cigurete when i heard a loud ass boom an a scream from the house, so i ran inside an i seen a gruwsume scen of blood every were an buddy getting his face beat in my the chick who owened the house. well it turned out that they were moving a couch out an my buddie droped this sofa clean on her cats head. man im glad i didnt have to see that. but i figured out what happend an said fuck this im out an rolled right out the front door like nothin happend

HOLY SHIT!!that is some bad luck for that cat. i guess the little bugger should have known better


9 lives, yea right im sure so many cats get killed in all sorts of nasty ways all the time hmmmm maybe thats why they say nine lives cuz cats are so prone to injury and death that they must get away from it by luck every now and then and hence the term these fuckers have nine lives but really it just means they are always amost getin killed!!!!

Wait what?

 

[JonnyBlunt88]

I once wanted to change the subject of a thread as a cat lover,
and cannot bear too many of these stories...
That being said, I once got caught with THC in my system when returning
to Iraq in mid deployment, was stripped of all of my rank and reputation,
but was lucky not to get kicked out.

 

[fdd2blk]

I once wanted to change the subject of a thread as a cat lover,
and cannot bear too many of these stories...
That being said, I once got caught with THC in my system when returning
to Iraq in mid deployment, was stripped of all of my rank and reputation,
but was lucky not to get kicked out.

i once felt that was harsh. still do. simply for smoking pot? bastards.

 

[HumboldtGreenz]

I once was a collegiate scholar athlete (football) that held a job and did massive amounts of community service and other miscellaneous volunteer work....all while being a stoner.

I also once tooted my own horn...w00t.

 

[BloodShotI'z]

I once replied for the 3rd time to a 24 page thread.

 

[pandabear]

I once called in sick to work on a thursday and smoked out all day, now its friday and im at work with a smile on me face

 

[pandabear]

I once went trick or treating with my buddies as a basball player. all i had was a bat as my costume, one of my buddies stole a small pumpkin from a house portch that didnt answer the door. I stood in the middle of the street with my basball bat and my buddy set up so he could pitch it to me so I could get a home run with the pumpkin just as he was about to throw the pumpkin and as I was preparing to swing, a cop car pulled up right behind me

anyway they were pretty cool considering the popped the trunk and told us to throw our bats and stuff in there, thier trunk was choc full of all type of shit they had confiscated

 

[pandabear]

I once heard that Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

 

[kochab]

Well I know this is the "I once..." thread, but the funniest thing I know of doesn't involve me, so I'll just tell it instead. When I was in the eighth or ninth grade my next door neighbor was a pretty hot chick in the same grade as me. Anyways, she started going out this guy and they were fooling around, and apparently he'd never seen a twat (they were both virgins by the way), or felt one. So, he sticks his hand in her pants to round thirdbase for the first time, but misteps and heads toward the dugout; he finger-fucked my neighbor in the ass for like ten minutes thinking all along it's her vag. Somewhere around the eight minute mark she began crying because she had never had anything inserted there, but the crying didn't faze him; he kept at it. So she finally told him what he was doing and he was completely mortified and ran home. That kid was ridiculed for months at school.

at first i was gonna write a reply saying congrats to the guy for even getting the opportunity, but then i realized that you said ninth grade not nine years old.......
wow that poor sob lost his first chance to bust a cherry. and his too at that matter........I wonder how his second sexual experince was, id bet it was scarier than fuck for him. OR he was really gay and just wanted the dook hole.

funny regardles