Help me please! It's about a girl.

beat those cheeks

giggles26 said:

Smoking weed isn't recommended by the feds but we still do it

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I was just worried he'd be like "imma cum!" And she'd be like "not before me!" And then stab him in the heart with a Frosty spoon or something.

neosapien said:

I was just worried he'd be like "imma cum!" And she'd be like "not before me!" And then stab him in the heart with a Frosty spoon or something.

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Well ya, but hopefully she would at least have the decency to at least use a spork or some shit, a spoon would just take to long. I mean what would you rather be stabbed with

This ?

or

What would you choose

i wasted 10years of my life on 50 chicks from jr high on threw high school. now i get high and school myself on what not to do. try to take something from this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QST6Hn8SUk4
[youtube]QST6Hn8SUk4[/youtube]

^ exactly.

Find yourself a kinky/spontaneous/playful girl. Avoid the crazy like the plague.

ClaytonBigsby said:

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He was so lucky to have been with her, what a good woman, she helped him achieve his dream of a career in porn. Behind every good man is a great woman, always look on the bright side of life. The glass is always half full but you always hear about the negatives and not the positive.

My other suggestion is: Run like the wind.

giggles26 said:

Well ya, but hopefully she would at least have the decency to at least use a spork or some shit, a spoon would just take to long. I mean what would you rather be stabbed with

This ?

or

What would you choose

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Plastic spoon would work lovely, snap the top off and it's a very jagged improvised weapon that can do hellacious damage... just my thoughts on that.

giggles26 said:

Well ya, but hopefully she would at least have the decency to at least use a spork or some shit, a spoon would just take to long. I mean what would you rather be stabbed with

This ?

or

What would you choose

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Figong said:

Plastic spoon would work lovely, snap the top off and it's a very jagged improvised weapon that can do hellacious damage... just my thoughts on that.

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That's kind of what I was imagining. I envisioned her biting off half the handle and using the now jagged end to shank him prison style. That way she could still use the spoon later.

Here's something to brighten the day:

...
...

^ The face kind of ruins it for me tbh...lol.
I have the same issue OP! Except with two bitches....
Got this one bitch...my ex, I kno, who is all over my dick all of a sudden, but I am fearing she has been surfing some other niggas dicks if you know what I mean, I heard she took a beating around the bush from like, a few different niggas I know, now this bitch, is crazy as fuck. She is probably a 5, she has attempted suicide 3 times, tells me all about it for no reason, I dont even fuckin ask! "hey i tried to kill myself in the bathtub :/ " ...................................
Bitch, what you want me to say? I tried to use your chart but I suck at math brotha! So I am afraid I might need some assistance, I have the numbers though. Oh, this chick, lololol. She cuts herself just like yo bitch op! Except 100x better, begs me like a nympho to skype her( I am obviously expecting full nudes or something here, I don't skype for some random ass bitches ) Then she cuts herself right under the webcam when I am in the middle of easin that bitch out of her clothes, I was TRIPPIN. So I hung up and told her the computer died, hehehehe. Anywho, the numbers, damn
C=5
H=6.5
D=5.75
W=2
S=2(seems pretty low, but Its based on the number while we were dating, the last month we were dating, it was basically just on call, I hit her up and she is down)
B=1
F=10 (she is a wrestler, shorter than I am, dont mind that tho )

And then there is the matter of this other bitch, now this bitch has a boyfriend, i think.... but! She is ALL over my dick, like glue! I was talking to her the other day saying some stupid shit about how she better be sending me some nudes when she gets home, just fuckin with her, jokin, this bitch, "Sorry, I'd only let you see me nude in person" As if hoe! I want to smell the milk before I drink it. She has decent tits and is again shorter than me(something I prefer honestly) nice ass, younger than I am, kind of a goth chick though, I am just your easy goin dude , average lookin I would say, so I am not pullin all these fine bitches, however I have had my fair share of decent hoes. This bitch, doesn't cut herself, just looks all goth like. Tells me her problems, I help her out with all her problems in life and shit like that, bitches love to be listened to lol. I've got this bitch tellin me how she misses me so much and wonders why we weren't closer friends and all that, obviously she wants the d. Her boyfriend is a flaming faggot who wears bowling shoes and worships the devil blah blah blah, this nigga looks like an octopus, so I am like James Bond compared to this fool, and she wants that dope dick so she floats by me. This nigga has the nerve to tell me to get off his bitch! Im like, nigga please! Your bitch was on me! Handle your hoe! It's not my fault you let one stray from the pack. I know I could just hit this bitch up to make out every once in a while, but I am not sure if she is down to fuck, thats all I am tryna do, fuck the shit out this bitch, like I said, pretty nice body, would be better if not goth and shit tho.. as for her numbers?
C=9(being far away from crazy I believe)
H=7
D=8
W=1(the only person she smokes with is me, her boyfriend makes her feel like its a bad thing to do or some stupid shit like that.
S= 0 - staggeringly low, I know, but the potential is there, this bitch is THIRSTY for that D so you know when she gets some of that real she can't have enough, plus, this bitch asked me out like last year, and she wasn't even close to as hot as she is now back then, so I said no DX
B=0
F=10(very nice )


Oh, and this other girl who was trying to fuck last year, like fuck buds, but she had hella acne AND this nigga wasn't down for that. Now she has D bra size, zero acne, that fat ass, but held together nicely, none of that cottage cheese shit, very skanky, would suck my dick on command like first date. Except about 6 months ago this bitch and I got into some fat ass argument over some dumb shit and its been weird since then, she still wants the D though, for real, aint even playin.
AINT GON LIE; the numbers for my last bitch
C=8
H=9
D=8.5(this bitch was undoubtedly the hottest chick I have fucked yet, D bra, that ass, them curves, shorter than me, brown hair!)
W=1(she broke up with me because apparently I smoke to much bud, thats when I told that bitch she must be the one smokin if she thinks there is such thing as too much bud)
S=4(suck that, I fucked this bitch in the pool for the first time, the hardest thing you will ever do by far, we just moved into the pool house, fuck that shit)
B=LOL this is where it gets tricky, none of the homies but DEFINITELY other niggas so I will say 1
F=9( )

Drew Diddy said:

Sorry I had nowhere to turn to, this girl I really am interested in and really makes a connection with me always talks about how she'd be better off dead and how everyone hates her and shed be happier dead. And then other times she's super happy and the best person ever I swear she's bipolar or something. And when I try to tell her not to she gets mad saying why don't I want her happy and shit she smokes bud too! I do t get t she says shed rather die than get high but I bet tomorrow she will wanna get stoned and love life, I am planning to fuck her hard haha. Yeah but wtf do I do she hates when I try reasoning with her.

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She's suicidal, will be dead soon unless someone helps her.

CaliforniaTHC said:

^ The face kind of ruins it for me tbh...lol.
I have the same issue OP! Except with two bitches....
Got this one bitch...my ex, I kno, who is all over my dick all of a sudden, but I am fearing she has been surfing some other niggas dicks if you know what I mean, I heard she took a beating around the bush from like, a few different niggas I know, now this bitch, is crazy as fuck. She is probably a 5, she has attempted suicide 3 times, tells me all about it for no reason, I dont even fuckin ask! "hey i tried to kill myself in the bathtub :/ " ...................................
Bitch, what you want me to say? I tried to use your chart but I suck at math brotha! So I am afraid I might need some assistance, I have the numbers though. Oh, this chick, lololol. She cuts herself just like yo bitch op! Except 100x better, begs me like a nympho to skype her( I am obviously expecting full nudes or something here, I don't skype for some random ass bitches ) Then she cuts herself right under the webcam when I am in the middle of easin that bitch out of her clothes, I was TRIPPIN. So I hung up and told her the computer died, hehehehe. Anywho, the numbers, damn
C=5
H=6.5
D=5.75
W=2
S=2(seems pretty low, but Its based on the number while we were dating, the last month we were dating, it was basically just on call, I hit her up and she is down)
B=1
F=10 (she is a wrestler, shorter than I am, dont mind that tho

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homey, if she's skyping and gettin naked thats pretty hot, but then she fucking cut herself???

like she got hooked on her bra clasp and got scratched, or she whipped out a switchblade and started hackin at her own shit? cuz a Crazy-5 is not "she gouges out chunks or her own flesh when sexually aroused" thats more like on the border of a 1 and a 2.

Crazy-5 is like, has a bunch of cats, or likes Ja Rule better than DMX, or has her dad's name tattooed on her ass.

CaliforniaTHC said:

And then there is the matter of this other bitch, now this bitch has a boyfriend, i think.... but! She is ALL over my dick, like glue! I was talking to her the other day saying some stupid shit about how she better be sending me some nudes when she gets home, just fuckin with her, jokin, this bitch, "Sorry, I'd only let you see me nude in person" As if hoe! I want to smell the milk before I drink it. She has decent tits and is again shorter than me(something I prefer honestly) nice ass, younger than I am, kind of a goth chick though, I am just your easy goin dude , average lookin I would say, so I am not pullin all these fine bitches, however I have had my fair share of decent hoes. This bitch, doesn't cut herself, just looks all goth like. Tells me her problems, I help her out with all her problems in life and shit like that, bitches love to be listened to lol. I've got this bitch tellin me how she misses me so much and wonders why we weren't closer friends and all that, obviously she wants the d. Her boyfriend is a flaming faggot who wears bowling shoes and worships the devil blah blah blah, this nigga looks like an octopus, so I am like James Bond compared to this fool, and she wants that dope dick so she floats by me. This nigga has the nerve to tell me to get off his bitch! Im like, nigga please! Your bitch was on me! Handle your hoe! It's not my fault you let one stray from the pack. I know I could just hit this bitch up to make out every once in a while, but I am not sure if she is down to fuck, thats all I am tryna do, fuck the shit out this bitch, like I said, pretty nice body, would be better if not goth and shit tho.. as for her numbers?
C=9(being far away from crazy I believe)
H=7
D=8
W=1(the only person she smokes with is me, her boyfriend makes her feel like its a bad thing to do or some stupid shit like that.
S= 0 - staggeringly low, I know, but the potential is there, this bitch is THIRSTY for that D so you know when she gets some of that real she can't have enough, plus, this bitch asked me out like last year, and she wasn't even close to as hot as she is now back then, so I said no DX
B=0
F=10(very nice )

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if she has a dude and is still touching your penis, she will be touching other guy's penises to. and her man is probably boning other skanks. so youre not just fucking her, youre fucking every dude she ever fucked, and every bitch they ever fucked, and every dude they ever fucked until...

"Yeah son, cup my balls while i tap her ass" ~your dad

you gotta watch them hoes, they be scandalous.

CaliforniaTHC said:

Oh, and this other girl who was trying to fuck last year, like fuck buds, but she had hella acne AND this nigga wasn't down for that. Now she has D bra size, zero acne, that fat ass, but held together nicely, none of that cottage cheese shit, very skanky, would suck my dick on command like first date. Except about 6 months ago this bitch and I got into some fat ass argument over some dumb shit and its been weird since then, she still wants the D though, for real, aint even playin.
AINT GON LIE; the numbers for my last bitch
C=8
H=9
D=8.5(this bitch was undoubtedly the hottest chick I have fucked yet, D bra, that ass, them curves, shorter than me, brown hair!)
W=1(she broke up with me because apparently I smoke to much bud, thats when I told that bitch she must be the one smokin if she thinks there is such thing as too much bud)
S=4(suck that, I fucked this bitch in the pool for the first time, the hardest thing you will ever do by far, we just moved into the pool house, fuck that shit)
B=LOL this is where it gets tricky, none of the homies but DEFINITELY other niggas so I will say 1
F=9( )

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if you dont know them dudes, it dont count. you can bang a hoe that has fucked other dudes, thats cool, in fact it's pretty much guranteed since they stopped making virgins back in 1978. but iof one of your bros was hittin that shit, it just becomes a mess (between you and your bros, the broad's feelings are irrelevant to this discussion) if he just hit it and quit it, go ahead, but if he had a relation ship with the hoe, then you are NOT ALLOWED to have a relationship with here unless

A: your bro gives you the all clear,
AND
B: she is sufficiently hot to warrant the entanglement of having fucked your bro. thats why "fucked your homey" is rated at 2 points per homey

the number of homies who have enjoyed the pleasure of her company, times 2 properly weights the discomfort/embarrassment/conflict that arises when your bro and her are at the same party.

but if she sucked a half a mile of cocks, and you dont know none of them, you're in the clear.

Drew Diddy said:

Yeah but wtf do I do she hates when I try reasoning with her.

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I think you should just try reasoning with her.

Flaming Pie said:

She is unstable. Not girlfriend material. Find someone less crazy to fuck.

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The crazy ones are better in bed. Hard to live with, tho.

Flaming Pie said:

Might also bite your dick off. Or get attached to you and then flip the fuck out when you fuck another chick. Throw shit at you, break your things, tell people your secrets.. anything to get even. Not worth the trouble.

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Sounds like you learned this the hard way?

gotta resort to the crazy / hot scale. its alright if she is crazy as long as she is equally hot.

neosapien said:

That's kind of what I was imagining. I envisioned her biting off half the handle and using the now jagged end to shank him prison style. That way she could still use the spoon later.

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That's great and all but I'll choose the spork, I don't know about you but if/when I go I want it to be quick, I don't wanna suffer fuck that shit

I hope when they find me I'm in my grow room smiling holding a j