Joke of the day
- Thread starter mygirls
- Start date
mygirls
Medical Marijuana (MOD)
Four guys have been going to the same deer camp for many years.
Two days before the group is to leave, Frank's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
Frank's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.
Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Frank sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire.
"Damn man, how long you been here, and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since yesterday.
Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'Guess who?'"
I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new see through nightie.
She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose pedals all over.
On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes!
She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did.
And then she said, "Do what ever you want."
So, here I am.
Two days before the group is to leave, Frank's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
Frank's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.
Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Frank sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire.
"Damn man, how long you been here, and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since yesterday.
Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'Guess who?'"
I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new see through nightie.
She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose pedals all over.
On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes!
She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did.
And then she said, "Do what ever you want."
So, here I am.
mygirls
Medical Marijuana (MOD)
My sweet husband invited me to go hunting with him this year. I couldn't believe it... the first time ever!
I never thought he'd be willing to share his 'guy time' with me and being the thoughtful man that he is, he even gave me an opening day present. He calls it 'The First Timers Lucky Hat'. I'm so fortunate to be married to such a great guy.
I have attached a picture of me in my lucky hat.
I never thought he'd be willing to share his 'guy time' with me and being the thoughtful man that he is, he even gave me an opening day present. He calls it 'The First Timers Lucky Hat'. I'm so fortunate to be married to such a great guy.
I have attached a picture of me in my lucky hat.
mygirls
Medical Marijuana (MOD)
LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH
A teacher asks her class, 'If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?' She calls on little Ralphy.
He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.'
The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.'
Then little RALPHY says, 'I have a question for YOU.
There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?'
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, 'Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.'
To which Little RALPHY replied, 'The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking.'
LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH (Part 2)
Little RALPHY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
'Why?' asks the father?
'The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'' I said '6', replies RALPHY.
'But that's right!' says his dad.
'Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?''
'What's the fuckin' difference?' asks the father.
WELL 'That's what I said!'
LITTLE RALPHY ON ENGLISH
Little RALPHY goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'
RALPHY says 'Mas-tur-bate.'
Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little RALPHY, that's a mouthful..'
Little RALPHY says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob.'
LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR
Little RALPHY was sitting in class one day.
All of a sudden, he needed to go to the toilet.
He yelled out, 'Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!'
The teacher replied, 'Now, RALPHY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation.
The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'
Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go..'
Little RALPHY, thinks for a bit, and then says, 'You're an eight, but if
You had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!'
LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR (Part 2)
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word 'beautiful' in the same sentence twice..
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, 'My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.'
'Very good, Suzie,' replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
'My mummy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully.'
She said, 'Excellent, Michael!' Then the teacher reluctantly called on little RALPHY.
'Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just fuckin' beautiful!''
LITTLE RALPHY ON GETTING OLDER
Little RALPHY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, 'Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat..'
Little RALPHY replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.'
The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?'
Little RALPHY answered, 'No, he minded his own fuckin' business.
Don Gin and Ton
Well-Known Member
what do you get if you put a horses head on leona lewis?
leona lewis
leona lewis
mygirls
Medical Marijuana (MOD)
1907 PHOTO This one needs to circulate
I think this is one email that needs to be forwarded until every
I think this is one email that needs to be forwarded until every
American with a computer receives it.
The year is 1907, one hundred and 3+ years ago.
READ PRINT UNDER PICTURE!
The year is 1907, one hundred and 3+ years ago.
READ PRINT UNDER PICTURE!
Theodore Roosevelt's ideas on Immigrants and being an AMERICAN in 1907.
'In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag... We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language.. And we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people.'
Theodore Roosevelt 1907
Every American citizen needs to read this!
mygirls
Medical Marijuana (MOD)
i havn't yet seen the boat.
mygirls
Medical Marijuana (MOD)
i see them.
riddleme
Well-Known Member
prolly cause they are in your cache, all I get is little red X's in little boxes
mygirls
Medical Marijuana (MOD)
thats fucked they are there one minute and gone the next. thats sum weird shit.. oh well i tried. im a dumb ass when it comesto this computer shit..
HEY BUT I KNOW HOW TO GROW. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA